Wednesday, January 7, 2009

14 years

Yeah, I'll toot my own horn a bit. I think it's huge to make it this far in this day and age. Divorce still at 50%. Absolutely asinine. People ask me how do we do it, and so I'm going to write a bit of sage advice that I've learned from 14 years of marriage. Here goes:

1. Communication. All old married couples say this, but it's absolutely true. I don't care if it's a knock down fight or quietly expressing your views, you've got to communicate. WITH this, you have to listen and respect the views of your spouse. If it's all one-sided, it ceases to be communication and becomes nagging.

2. Absolutely believe your spouse is capable of anything. My hubby is my warrior. The smartest and most talented man on the face of this Earth. I believe if he wants something, he can achieve it. He's superman. I'm his biggest fan.

3. Don't belittle your spouse. Respect one another with what you say to each other.

4. Love them with everything you have so it withstands the bad days. You're gonna have them. Annoying little habits. Saying trite things. This is YOU I'm talking abnout. You expect your spouse to love you even though you make mistakes, don't they deserve the same love back?

5. Make your spouse number one. I have a hard time with this one. Three kids to occupy my time. Family everywhere. He still needs to be the first thing I think about in the morning and before I go to bed.

6. Find things to do together that you both enjoy.

7. Love their mother-in-law or at least put up with her with a smile on your face.

8. Make time for each other.

9. Say "I love you" everyday before they leave for work, the house, etc. You never know if it's the last thing you'll say to them.

10. Don't ever let them hear you talk ill of them in front of another person.

11. Having God in your marriage.


Nancy said...

Happy Anniversary!! 14 years is AWESOME. :)

Great, great advice! I love #2 :)

It's just us said...

You are just showing the rest of us up ;-)
#10 is the one that gets me in the most trouble.