Monday, August 17, 2009

End of Summer Blues

As I eagerly await my Solidago 'Fireworks' to bloom, it hits me that it's one of the last perennials to bloom and a quiet break hits me. Summer is almost over. Except for the asters and mums, a sunflower, too, I've got nothing to look forward to see bloom! I love fall and what it brings (Halloween, cooler weather) but my passion for gardening stills. Yes, there are bulbs to plant, things to cut down, but nothing to look forward to in my gardens. *sigh*

Emily Dickinson must have felt the same way at the end of summer:

Indian Summer

These are the days when birds come back,
A very few, a bird or two,
To take a backward look.

These are the days when skies put on
The old, old sophistries of June, -
A blue and gold mistake.

Oh, fraud that cannot cheat the bee,
Almost thy plausibility
Induces my belief,

Till ranks of seeds their witness bear,
And softly through the altered air
Hurries a timid leaf!

Oh, sacrament of summer days,
Oh, last communion in the haze,
Permit a child to join,

Thy sacred emblems to partake,
Thy consecrated bread to break,
Taste thine immortal wine!

Friday, August 14, 2009


I received a couple of phone calls from mom this past week but have been waiting to tell the results of her tests until we heard everything.

Mom had her CT Scan and it was clear! She had her CA125 counts come back and they had gone down to 5! This news makes us all breathe a little easier, and allows the cancer to go a little further back into our minds. Remission is such a two-edge sword. You are so happy that she's in remission, but it's not "cured" for 5 whole years. We are so grateful for the news and are trying to train ourselves to be happy with what we've got!

Mom's energy is coming back strong as she does physical therapy. Her leg pain is less, she has feeling in all of her limbs. She's hoping the "chemo brain" gets better in time because she gets very frustrated at the loss of her short term memory. All in all, an EXCELLENT report and we are very happy!

Monday, August 10, 2009


It's been a very busy summer (read...AUGUST)! I haven't had much time to do anything except work, prepare for my boys going back to school and preparing and attending two baby showers for my sis-in-law. I've enjoyed every minute of it, but am welcoming some time to catch up on things around the house.

The boys start school on Thursday, and it hits me that I will have all days to myself. Someone asked me to tell her how that works out...what that FEELS like. Right now, it feels like a huge piece of what I do has been taken out of the picture. I've been a stay-at-home mom for 9 years. How do you prepare yourself for all of that extra TIME? I know I have tons of projects to do at the house. It's 30 years old and constantly needs new things, new paint, just plain updating. With the boys asthma, I've always had to put off the painting for fear it will cause their asthma to act up. With them gone, I can do some painting in the morning and then air out the house so it's clear by the time they get home. I always have my landscaping to work on. I have work to go to. It just STOPS in October...and then there's nothing...

Corrin starts at the high school this year. I'm sure he's so tired of us telling him that "this is it. It now MEANS something" but he does want to attend CU and that is all we have left to inspire him to stay active and school and get good grades. We can't hold his hand forever, and I refuse to push him when it comes to something like doing homework. The stress if huge, and he needs to learn to do it on his own.

With two nieces coming sometime in September or early October, and one other niece or nephew due the end of January, I'm sure a lot of my time with be spent with my sis-in-law's because I HAVE the time and they won't. It's so weird that my timing has always been way ahead of everyone else, and people are finally catching up. It's weird because I'm not that much older than everyone else, but I feel as if I am sometimes. I have such a feeling of disconnect when I'm talking of plans.

I'm at a different stage, and I don't know what to do with myself.