Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas at the Lollar's

I was lax in getting a lot of pics this year. Too busy hosting, I guess. We were glad that mom, dad and Uncle Jim could come over, along with Stacey and Gus. Brian made an excellent prime rib, along with champ potatoes, a salad, green beans and rolls. We were even lucky enough to have leftovers!
We then opened gifts. It was a lovely day!

Tessa at her happiest, when someone is giving her full attention...

We're so glad Uncle Jim is in town!

The boys, looking so happy that I was taking pictures.

I wanted to show everyone how great mom looks!

Stacey looking just beautiful!

The recently engaged couple!  Gus and Stacey

Riordan being attacked by bows...

Finally!  A decent pic of Corrin!  Yeah, he's huge.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


The last couple of nights I have been dreaming of spiders. In both dreams, I see the huge spider, but can't seem to move. In both dreams, the spider follows my movements.

I can't remember all of my first dream, but I remember last nights. I lifted up my piano key protector, and underneath there was what I thought were just dirty cobwebs. As I started to play the piano, I realized the cobwebs were following my movement as I played. At closer inspection, I noticed it was a HUGE spiderweb with a even bigger spider within. I kept playing, with a certain fascination that the spider would follow my movements. I was scared to death, but I couldn't remove the spider, and I couldn't do much but keep playing. In both dreams, I never killed the spider. In the first dream, I remember the spider jumping, but I don't remember much more than that.

I went to a dream interpretation site and found this:

Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders, is the most common phobia among American people. Many of us find these hairy, eight-legged creatures very creepy. There is no doubt that a dream about spiders may simply be your subconscious expressing that prevalent fear.

However, the image of a spider goes much deeper than just a creepy-crawly to fear. Spiders have many associations that may be symbolically represented in your dream by the appearance of a spider.

SPIDERS AS TRICKSTERS: If you have ever read any African fables, you may have noticed that the spider is a devious, tricky creature. Even in modern western society we associate spiders with trickery (come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly). This is most likely because spiders lure and ensnare their prey. If you are dreaming about spiders, there is a possibility that your dream is warning you that you may be tangled up in a web of deceit. Take a good look at those around you, especially those in whom you have put your trust.

SPIDERS AS WEAVERS: Another association of spiders comes from their ability to weave beautiful and intricate webs. There is an old Greek myth about a woman named Arachne who was an incredibly gifted artist and weaver. She was also insolent and rude, claiming that her abilities were greater than those of Athena, the patron Goddess of weaving. After challenging Athena to a contest, Arachne felt so bad for her disrespect to the Goddess that she hanged herself. Athena took pity on Arachne and brought her back to life as a spider, so that she could hang forever weaving her beautiful creations, as well as all of her ancestors. If you are dreaming of a spider web, it may indicate that you are ignoring your creative impulses. If you dream of a spider weaving a web, it could mean that inspiration is right in front of you. Either way, the dream is urging you not to resist or ignore your artistic impulses. Even if you do not consider yourself an artistic person, your psyche is encouraging you to explore and unleash your creativity in some way.

SPIDERS AS FEMALE ENERGY: When considering the symbolic meanings of spiders, one cannot overlook the image of the black widow, luring in the male to mate, and then viciously killing and cannibalizing him in order to nourish herself when her eggs have been fertilized. In this way, spiders represent the feminine energies within us. These energies are both the destructive and constructive, as seen in the cycle of death and birth. If dreaming about a black widow spider, or of a spider that kills its mate, your dreams may be telling you that you are experiencing a major transformation in your life.

SPIDERS AS CREATURES OF BALANCE: Spiders hang from slender threads, and walk delicately upon their webs. But, being delicate creatures, if they fall, they can die. A dream of a spider walking a web may indicate that you must take care, for you are walking a fine line in life, or that you are in need of finding a balance. Spiders also have eight legs, which are symbolic of the ancient wheel of the year, which is divided up into the solstices and equinoxes, and the mid-points between them. A dream in which a spider’s legs are the focus may indicate that you are currently experiencing a rut or an in-between stage in life.

SPIDERS AS CREATURES OF FATE: The weaving symbolism of a spider can be extended to the Fates, the demigods in Greek mythology which weave the fate of our lives. This can indicate a connection between the past and the future. It may also be telling you that you are the master of your own destiny, and should take charge in weaving the future you desire.

I'm not really sure which part my dream falls under, but I find it fascinating. I could guess, with some things going on my life, which one it is.

Happy Birthday, Riordan!

I can't believe it's been seven years. I love you, honey!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Just another day?

Every year I have the countdown to listen to. It's glorious in it's own way. "20 days 'til my birthday, mom! 25 days 'til Christmas!" Wait...what? Riordan's birthday is the 22nd, not the 20th...

Poor kid has it in his head that we're celebrating his birthday this weekend rather on his birthday. I try so hard to celebrate it separate from Christmas so it feels like an actual birthday. Every year we have either my parents or my in-laws come over the weekend before Christmas to celebrate Christmas with them. It matters which year it is. This year it's my parents, and since they live 45 minutes away, I didn't want them to come over on both Saturday AND Sunday, so we've decided to celebrate Riordan's birthday on his actual BirthDAY. Dinner out with the family, opening gifts and then dessert. It's hard because his birthday falls within the winter break, and so without any thought beforehand, there are usually no invites that go to his friends. During the break, we have nothing to get in touch with people (have YOU tried getting phone numbers or addresses from 6-year-old's?) and so again, he's hanging with the fam. You can't make a big deal about it IN school for the fear of hurting some kid's feelings by not inviting him. (I can't invite all 24 kids to my house for a birthday party!) It's quite the issue. So, every day, the countdown until his birthday is worded with "we're celebrating my birthday on the 20th!" and me telling him that no, we're waiting until your actual birthday, dude.

We're hoping that his birthday gift, Bronco tickets, will help him get over the disappointment.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


My eldest is reading The God Delusion. It caught me off guard seeing it laying there by his bed. I realized then that I've got to get over whatever I'm dealing with and start going back to church. I'm not one to push my beliefs on others, but Corrin is at the age where he's thinking...a LOT...and I'd like him to hear both sides before coming to a conclusion. It makes me feel as if I've failed that his friends are doing a better job at sharing what they believe than I am.

Through this whole...ordeal (for lack of a better word), I've talked about being unsatisfied with the church rather than God. Organized religion and such. I've even made the comment that I don't think Jesus expected what has happened through the church...and not sure He'd like it. Darn people just screw it up. His message isn't that hard...why do churches make it hard?

I am praying fervently that God shows me a church that doesn't allow the members to fuck it all up.

Monday, December 7, 2009


I had a wonderful weekend! I went to the cookie exchange and made a gingerbread house (which is now missing most of its candy, due to the boys) and met some new people. Thanks to Jennifer and Donna for throwing a fun party! I then went to a choir and orchestra concert yesterday and enjoyed hanging out with my family and friend as we listened to it. I love watching my mother-in-law's so very obvious she loves singing because she smiles the entire time. Loved the got me in the Christmas spirit. Riordan loved watching the woman hit the big drum!

The boys and I put up the Christmas tree yesterday, too, so it was a busy day. I am so glad that last year I bought a container that keeps all of the decorations in an easy to pull out way with partitions because in years past I always had to unwrap each decoration before giving it to the boys and it took twice and long and had always ticked the boys off. This time, I just opened the container and the decorations were there to put up! Niiiiiice! No arguing, and the boys love seeing their Christmas oranaments! I've realized that I now need two trees in my house because I have so many decorations that we have gathered throughout the years. I have a fake tree that I can set up...I just have to figure out where it's going to go. It's the "pretty" tree that everything matches. ;)

Daegan has informed Brian and I that he no longer believes in Santa Claus. I asked him why, and he said that Santa's handwriting looks like ours (we've always printed out tags, so I'm not sure where that came from). I just told him that if he believes, his stockings will fill up on Christmas Eve. He told me that years past when he asked Corrin if HE believed in Santa, and Corrin said "not really" that HIS stocking was still filled. I told him that Corrin obviously didn't really mean it and that Santa knew it. It's hard to lie about things like this...but I have one more child in the house that still believes and God forbid his older brother is going to give it away! When Santa is gone, the magic of Christmas morning is gone. :( Christmas Eve and Christmas day is when we talk about Jesus...Christmas morning is all about Santa! I am bummed that Daegan knows the secret, but it lasted longer for him than for Corrin, which I am happy about.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


This past week and a half has been quite the blur. I've been Christmas shopping like no other, trying to get deals to save a bit of money. I even got up at the crack of dawn (oh, who am I kidding, it was even earlier) on the day after Thanksgiving which I've never done before. As my kids get older, the prices of their wish lists get more expensive...and Brian and I try to get at least one big item for them from Santa.

I also have been hanging out with my friend Stacey who is getting married to my best friend, Gus in May. Wedding dress shopping to be precise. It's been a lot of fun, and I'm happy that she has finally found her dress that she's going to wear on the big day. I'm making 14 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange this weekend, plus getting ready for two parties NEXT weekend, along with Riordan's birthday and Christmas.

I had picked up a volunteer form for the library, but haven't had enough time to fill it out...which means I haven't had enough time to I guess I'll put that off for a bit.

This Christmas season has been unusual, and I believe I talked about this last year, but nothing I've been busy with has had anything to do with church or religious activities. I've missed the joyous sounds of Christian Christmas music, so I'll be attending a Brighton Choir musical on Sunday...hoping to fill me with all that is good. I don't WANT my Christmas to be all about shopping. I miss the constant reminders of why my family celebrates this Holiday in the first place. I'll do whatever I can to include that in the festivities...looking for a church to go to on Christmas Eve.

It's been incredibly cold outside here, which means you go from place to place in a hurry. I'd like to sit down and rest for a bit, but still have so much to do! Maybe if I can get it all done now, the time for rest will come later!!!

Here's wishing you all a nice, relaxing Holiday season.