It's official from my mom's doctor. She is in remission. I'm ecstatic! Mom is, of course, happy to hear the news, but is wondering how to not have the word "cancer" hang over your head when there is a possibility that it'll come back. Any words of encouragement...advice?
I am so freaking happy.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Spring blooms...all white?
As some of you know, I decided my back yard was going to have autumn color if I had to pull trees from the midwest and bring them back to me. The past couple of years I have planted several bushes JUST for their fall color, and didn't pay too much attention to the spring bloom.
All white. All of them. Serviceberry, Korean Spice Viburnum, Chokeberry, Fothergilla. Coppertina Ninebark. How utterly boring. At least each white bloom looks different!! The only difference in color is my forsythia in the spring.
Ugh, ugh and ugh again. I truly hope the fall color will make up for all that white in the spring!!! Thank goodness I have mixed spring blooming perennials between all of that white!
All white. All of them. Serviceberry, Korean Spice Viburnum, Chokeberry, Fothergilla. Coppertina Ninebark. How utterly boring. At least each white bloom looks different!! The only difference in color is my forsythia in the spring.
Ugh, ugh and ugh again. I truly hope the fall color will make up for all that white in the spring!!! Thank goodness I have mixed spring blooming perennials between all of that white!
It was...like Christmas
I was following my Bluestone order and knew it would be coming in today via Fed Ex. I kept checking outside, hoping to see the Fed Ex driver, but then went to my kids' field day and then was hoping the box would be sitting on my porch when I returned. As I was coming home, I saw the Fed Ex driver leaving my street and I was thinkin, "Hooray!!" Nothing. Nada. I rush in asking if Corrin had heard the doorbell and he said no. I was in a huff wondering why wouldn't they just leave the flowers on my porch?
Well, it was because they didn't stop by my house yet. LOL. They were dropped off about and hour and a half later.
I've never ordered from Bluestone before but had heard good things from a garden forum (gardenweb.com shout out!) and also from my father, so I wanted to try them. I was pretty impressed they were able to stuff 8 plants in such a small box. Some of the plants were pretty bent which I wasn't happy about, but all seemed to be slightly damp and the sizes were bigger than what I was expecting. All in all, I was happy with the purchase.
So what did I do? Went to Picadilly and bought MORE plants. I know, I've got a problem. My friend Lena thinks I need to tell my employer to tell ME I can't get anymore. Like a bartender telling the drunk, "you're done".
I am happy to say that after buying an outstanding 'Claire De Lune' clematis, Aronia melanocarpa 'Autumn Magic' Chokeberry (my mission this year has been to keep the birds happy...and they will with the chokeberry and serviceberry), Indian Summer raspberry, a replacement coreopsis (this will be my third try in this location, but a different type so wish me luck), Calamagrostis x acutiflora 'Avalanche' - Variegated Feather Reed Grass (we sell Karl Foerster, and I wanted to be different with the variegation...ha), and the much anticipated St. Mary's broom that I talked in a previous post. Add this to the four types of plants that I got from Bluestone, guess what I did today??? I wanted to get them in the ground so then Brian and I could work on the misters and drip lines so I don't have to hand water my backyard gardens anymore. I think I'm pretty much done buying this year unless something catches my eye that I can't say no to. I bought the clematis thinking I had a cool foot spot, but when looking more closely, the iris that I have planted haven't quite made the shade that I thought they did. I'll hold onto it for awhile, hoping an idea comes to me later. I will be returning 'Love' Rosa. It was supposed to be a red and white rose, but as it bloomed it's this electric pink. No thanks, it just doesn't belong anywhere. It's a pretty rose, but hardly any smell, and without the red, it's not meant to be.
Working tomorrow, hopefully we'll be busy so the 10 1/2 hours go by quickly!!
Well, it was because they didn't stop by my house yet. LOL. They were dropped off about and hour and a half later.
I've never ordered from Bluestone before but had heard good things from a garden forum (gardenweb.com shout out!) and also from my father, so I wanted to try them. I was pretty impressed they were able to stuff 8 plants in such a small box. Some of the plants were pretty bent which I wasn't happy about, but all seemed to be slightly damp and the sizes were bigger than what I was expecting. All in all, I was happy with the purchase.
So what did I do? Went to Picadilly and bought MORE plants. I know, I've got a problem. My friend Lena thinks I need to tell my employer to tell ME I can't get anymore. Like a bartender telling the drunk, "you're done".
I am happy to say that after buying an outstanding 'Claire De Lune' clematis, Aronia melanocarpa 'Autumn Magic' Chokeberry (my mission this year has been to keep the birds happy...and they will with the chokeberry and serviceberry), Indian Summer raspberry, a replacement coreopsis (this will be my third try in this location, but a different type so wish me luck), Calamagrostis x acutiflora 'Avalanche' - Variegated Feather Reed Grass (we sell Karl Foerster, and I wanted to be different with the variegation...ha), and the much anticipated St. Mary's broom that I talked in a previous post. Add this to the four types of plants that I got from Bluestone, guess what I did today??? I wanted to get them in the ground so then Brian and I could work on the misters and drip lines so I don't have to hand water my backyard gardens anymore. I think I'm pretty much done buying this year unless something catches my eye that I can't say no to. I bought the clematis thinking I had a cool foot spot, but when looking more closely, the iris that I have planted haven't quite made the shade that I thought they did. I'll hold onto it for awhile, hoping an idea comes to me later. I will be returning 'Love' Rosa. It was supposed to be a red and white rose, but as it bloomed it's this electric pink. No thanks, it just doesn't belong anywhere. It's a pretty rose, but hardly any smell, and without the red, it's not meant to be.
Working tomorrow, hopefully we'll be busy so the 10 1/2 hours go by quickly!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
You all might think I'm crazy
This past month has been difficult. With Corrin home everyday and supposively working, I have to keep an eye on him at all times. He continuously is not doing the work that he is supposed to do and I am very tired of having to remind him to do it. Schoolwork or die, kid. Schoolwork or die.
Today, I told him I'm not nagging him anymore. (Well, Brian told him we wouldn't nag anymore).
I'm ready for this school year to be over (this is the part where you tell me I'm crazy). I'm still only working Tuesday's, Thursday's and Saturday's at Picadilly, but the days that I do work are so hectic. I'm ready to have a couple of days a week where I'm not running around in the mornings trying to get all of the stuff that I need to get done...done. Getting the boys ready for school, breakfast made, dog fed, watering plants, emptying dishwasher, doing a load of laundry...it's enough to make me ill.
Summer should be fun. I plan on taking the boys swimming quite a bit because Riordan still needs lots of practice. We have more kids on the block, so hopefully Daegan will have plenty of friends to choose from to play with daily rather than just hoping his one friend is available. i know the boys will be fighting constantly, but will be using the "get outside!!" that my own mother used on me when I was a child. Hey, I survived and am tougher because of it..heh, heh.
I think I just need a couple of days off from doing anything, but I'm realistic and I know that can't happen during this time of year!!
Laundry, anyone?
Today, I told him I'm not nagging him anymore. (Well, Brian told him we wouldn't nag anymore).
I'm ready for this school year to be over (this is the part where you tell me I'm crazy). I'm still only working Tuesday's, Thursday's and Saturday's at Picadilly, but the days that I do work are so hectic. I'm ready to have a couple of days a week where I'm not running around in the mornings trying to get all of the stuff that I need to get done...done. Getting the boys ready for school, breakfast made, dog fed, watering plants, emptying dishwasher, doing a load of laundry...it's enough to make me ill.
Summer should be fun. I plan on taking the boys swimming quite a bit because Riordan still needs lots of practice. We have more kids on the block, so hopefully Daegan will have plenty of friends to choose from to play with daily rather than just hoping his one friend is available. i know the boys will be fighting constantly, but will be using the "get outside!!" that my own mother used on me when I was a child. Hey, I survived and am tougher because of it..heh, heh.
I think I just need a couple of days off from doing anything, but I'm realistic and I know that can't happen during this time of year!!
Laundry, anyone?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Boys and blessings
On this day I usually go out with my mom and we buy annuals. It's what we have done for the past 4-5 years. We hit Home Depot and then the Flower Bin, load our cars up with flowers, and then have lunch afterwards. Even though I'll miss that this year, I'm very excited for what will happen today. Mom and dad are coming over and watching the boys help me plant my garden. I'm not sure how the boys feel about that (work? ahhhh, MOM!) but they will do it because I told them that's what I want to happen today.
As I think about all of my pregnancies, and the fact that I have three boys, I marvel at how far I've come in my mommy process of not having a little girl. Since my mother and I are so close, I wanted a little girl...BADLY. But as I am around little girls with their squealing as younger children, and their attitudes as teenagers, I believe God knew what He was doing when He blessed me with three sons.
Bodily functions make me laugh. I am the worst at NOT laughing when one of my son's fart at the table. It's hilarious. We are trying to teach them to be polite, but the sound of a good rip on our wooden chairs always makes me laugh. This is the same when they burp. I have to control myself to not say, "GOOD ONE!" I, myself, am always proud of a good, long, loud burp.
I do not have to worry about them getting into my closet and stealing my clothes. Enough said.
They don't worry about getting their nails dirty while working with me in the garden.
When they get hurt, all I have to say is, "Are you bleeding...dying? If not, suck it up!" Usually this ends the crying. This doesn't work on little girls from my own experiences.
I can watch action movies and my boys enjoy them.
Little block-like things that snap together can provide hours of entertainment.
Guitar Hero World tour is a family event.
They are fine with wearing the same pair of jeans more than once.
Color coordinating? Yeah, what's that?
When I get a kiss from my eldest, it's like a prize to me. He's at the age where it's cool to ignore the parentals.
They can lift heavy things for me.
Killing spiders is a work of art.
They all want to marry someone exactly like me. (I'm sure this is only temporary)
They don't care if I leave the house looking like death warmed over.
Yeah, life is good!!
*Disclaimer* I'm sure having little girls has it's benefits, too. I have convinced myself I don't need one.
As I think about all of my pregnancies, and the fact that I have three boys, I marvel at how far I've come in my mommy process of not having a little girl. Since my mother and I are so close, I wanted a little girl...BADLY. But as I am around little girls with their squealing as younger children, and their attitudes as teenagers, I believe God knew what He was doing when He blessed me with three sons.
Bodily functions make me laugh. I am the worst at NOT laughing when one of my son's fart at the table. It's hilarious. We are trying to teach them to be polite, but the sound of a good rip on our wooden chairs always makes me laugh. This is the same when they burp. I have to control myself to not say, "GOOD ONE!" I, myself, am always proud of a good, long, loud burp.
I do not have to worry about them getting into my closet and stealing my clothes. Enough said.
They don't worry about getting their nails dirty while working with me in the garden.
When they get hurt, all I have to say is, "Are you bleeding...dying? If not, suck it up!" Usually this ends the crying. This doesn't work on little girls from my own experiences.
I can watch action movies and my boys enjoy them.
Little block-like things that snap together can provide hours of entertainment.
Guitar Hero World tour is a family event.
They are fine with wearing the same pair of jeans more than once.
Color coordinating? Yeah, what's that?
When I get a kiss from my eldest, it's like a prize to me. He's at the age where it's cool to ignore the parentals.
They can lift heavy things for me.
Killing spiders is a work of art.
They all want to marry someone exactly like me. (I'm sure this is only temporary)
They don't care if I leave the house looking like death warmed over.
Yeah, life is good!!
*Disclaimer* I'm sure having little girls has it's benefits, too. I have convinced myself I don't need one.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Today I told myself I would rest, but it didn't quite work out that way! I ended up going to the store, paying bills, doing some laundry and then heading to Picadilly to get "some annuals". I just planned on getting some for one pot (which I did) but I also ended up buying quite a few perennials and grasses that I have been looking at since March. I was teased mercilessly from my co-workers that I can't stay away.
I wasn't smart today and forgot to put sunscreen on so I can already feel pain in my shoulders. Breaking in the skin for the summer, I guess. I've been very good the past couple of years, but always seem to burn the first time!!
After planting today, and deciding what I'm going to put in a large spot that is in my front, I'll start taking pictures of the gardens. My backyard is pretty boring, because everything is very small, but I'm anxious to start keeping track of sizes, when I planted and compare to two to four years from now.
Brian and I had been planning on putting a water feature in a corner of our backyard, but after thinking about it for awhile, I figured it would be too far from where our deck is going to be, and the sound would be lost. So, I will be tagging a Pinus leuc. (heldreichi) 'Mint Truffle' Bosnian Pine to put in that corner so we have some constant green in the back yard since everything else is decidious. This type of bosnian pine has very dense foliage with inward curving branches so it will be perfect. I'm also interested in a dwarf spruce called, Picea pungens 'St. Mary's Broom'. It only gets 30"x30" and is great for the smaller places in my gardens that happens to be right up against my grass. I'll put this in front of some ornamental grasses that I have planted. I have a hard time paying the price for this specialty shrub (a whopping 80 bucks!) but since I'm winding down on purchasing this year, I guess I can splurge.
I have a few more things to plant on Friday, and then on to my vegetable garden on Sunday!! :)
I wasn't smart today and forgot to put sunscreen on so I can already feel pain in my shoulders. Breaking in the skin for the summer, I guess. I've been very good the past couple of years, but always seem to burn the first time!!
After planting today, and deciding what I'm going to put in a large spot that is in my front, I'll start taking pictures of the gardens. My backyard is pretty boring, because everything is very small, but I'm anxious to start keeping track of sizes, when I planted and compare to two to four years from now.
Brian and I had been planning on putting a water feature in a corner of our backyard, but after thinking about it for awhile, I figured it would be too far from where our deck is going to be, and the sound would be lost. So, I will be tagging a Pinus leuc. (heldreichi) 'Mint Truffle' Bosnian Pine to put in that corner so we have some constant green in the back yard since everything else is decidious. This type of bosnian pine has very dense foliage with inward curving branches so it will be perfect. I'm also interested in a dwarf spruce called, Picea pungens 'St. Mary's Broom'. It only gets 30"x30" and is great for the smaller places in my gardens that happens to be right up against my grass. I'll put this in front of some ornamental grasses that I have planted. I have a hard time paying the price for this specialty shrub (a whopping 80 bucks!) but since I'm winding down on purchasing this year, I guess I can splurge.
I have a few more things to plant on Friday, and then on to my vegetable garden on Sunday!! :)
Monday, May 4, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
I went to Target today and started to browse through the Happy Mother's Day cards that are prominently on display. I read through them, getting a bit teary eyed with some, snorting at others...but none of them said what I feel right at this time in my life. If I had a card written by Hallmark, for a daughter who thought she could have lost her mother this year...but was given more time it would say,
Mom,
I was reading through all of the Happy Mother's Day cards and even though they seemed sweet, and certainly said wonderful things...a huge part was missing. My sincere and deep gratitude for having you alive. Today.
7 months ago we got news of cancer, and that it was bad. I look back on the day with reeling emotions because although I tried not to think of death, it was heavy on my mind. All I could think about was how would I ever make it without you in my life? During my childhood to my growing up and having my own children, you have always been there for me. Through the pregnancy, and my wedding, through having three boys and the laughs, terrors and jitters that brings. Through the good times and the bad, we have remained best friends. I never thanked you enough for being home everyday so I could be safe with you after school. Thanks would never be enough for all of the sacrifices you made so we could attend recitals, plays, softball, youth group events. All of it was because of you. I truly believe an award should be handed to you for all that you have gone through these past months, and how you can still laugh and hope that life will be the same once all this is over. You are my hero. No one ever could measure up.
The thought of me trying to live a life fully without you is incomprehensible. I thank God every day that you are still here in my life. In two weeks, we hope to hear "remission". I cannot wait until we have another 34 years of life together as best friends.
I love you, mom.
Happy Mother's Day
Heather
This post is part of a world wide blogging tribute to Moms led by TheBlogFrog
Mom,
I was reading through all of the Happy Mother's Day cards and even though they seemed sweet, and certainly said wonderful things...a huge part was missing. My sincere and deep gratitude for having you alive. Today.
7 months ago we got news of cancer, and that it was bad. I look back on the day with reeling emotions because although I tried not to think of death, it was heavy on my mind. All I could think about was how would I ever make it without you in my life? During my childhood to my growing up and having my own children, you have always been there for me. Through the pregnancy, and my wedding, through having three boys and the laughs, terrors and jitters that brings. Through the good times and the bad, we have remained best friends. I never thanked you enough for being home everyday so I could be safe with you after school. Thanks would never be enough for all of the sacrifices you made so we could attend recitals, plays, softball, youth group events. All of it was because of you. I truly believe an award should be handed to you for all that you have gone through these past months, and how you can still laugh and hope that life will be the same once all this is over. You are my hero. No one ever could measure up.
The thought of me trying to live a life fully without you is incomprehensible. I thank God every day that you are still here in my life. In two weeks, we hope to hear "remission". I cannot wait until we have another 34 years of life together as best friends.
I love you, mom.
Happy Mother's Day
Heather
This post is part of a world wide blogging tribute to Moms led by TheBlogFrog
Waiting time
I was lucky enough to go and visit my parents yesterday for about four hours. Mom is doing pretty good. Even though she doesn't feel great, her spirits are higher. It's because she knows she's done! We talked of eating steaks and salads and hopefully celebrating her "birthday"...which is day one of remission. Mom has her CT Scan on Thursday, and then in two weeks she'll have her CA125 results. If the scan looks good and her numbers went down, they should give us the good news. With the way the numbers have been going, and the fact the treatments seem to be working, dad and I figure her CA125 number should be at 11. It's going to be a long two weeks to hear that number!
We then talked about mom continuing her Avastin trial (if it is, indeed, Avastin) and other options that might be coming up in other trials. Most importantly, we talked about getting her strength up because she is so weak. The prayers seem to be working...mom and dad seem to be getting along well. I thank you so much for all of your thoughts! I promise I will let you know the results as soon as they come in.
We then talked about mom continuing her Avastin trial (if it is, indeed, Avastin) and other options that might be coming up in other trials. Most importantly, we talked about getting her strength up because she is so weak. The prayers seem to be working...mom and dad seem to be getting along well. I thank you so much for all of your thoughts! I promise I will let you know the results as soon as they come in.
Friday, May 1, 2009
I've been bad...
or is it good? Went to Picadilly on my day off to add to my collection. I've been eyeing the Peonies for weeks. I just HAD to get one for my front gardens. I'm still deciding if that's what I want growing just on the other side of my deck, or to mix it up with other things. I have to see the size of the deck and what the sunlight will be like once it is up before making my mind up.
Here is the Peony I just bought.
In front of my Amur Maple that doesn't grow much directly from the ground, but on upper branches, I wanted some instant color to look at when I'm in my kitchen, so I picked the Homerun roses that are very disease and mildew resistant. Blooms are incredible red from late spring until fall.
I then was talking to my boss about wanting some beautiful vines (clematis, climbing roses, wisteria, etc.) and he told me to grab the climbing hydrangea that doesn't sell well because it needs to be planted and doesn't show a lot of growth in a pot. The climbing hydrangea takes 3-5 years to really get going, but once it does, watch out!! Covered in hydrangea blossoms with fantastic foliage...and isn't scared of the sun. The best part...it was FREE!! Hey, I can be patient when it's free!
Lastly, I bought a the 'Golden Carousel" barberry that is electric chartreuse during the spring and summer, and then changes to multiple colors in the fall. I fell in love with it last fall, but was afraid to plant that one late. It also will go in the backyard...After looking up pics on line, there just isn't any pictures to do this plant justice.
With weather being rainy off and on today and tomorrow, I probably won't get to planting these until Monday. Which is fine, since it's closer to Mother's Day no frost zone. I told you I was impatient!! Pretty soon I'll invite you all over to see what's been planted. May is always a fun time to stroll around...but I know Brian wants his grass to look better before there is any strolling at all. The boys' high traffic playing football has slowed a lot of the growth, and the dog's urine has not helped any. Thank goodness for a slow spring to help it dig it's roots in.
Next weekend...planting my veggies on Mother's Day with my boys! :)
Here is the Peony I just bought.
Paeonia Karl Rosenfield
I also am starting my vine collection to add height to my backyard gardens. I bought the Shiro Bana Akebia which has beautiful foliage that rises up, up and up some more with white flowers that smell like chocolate in the spring!
In front of my Amur Maple that doesn't grow much directly from the ground, but on upper branches, I wanted some instant color to look at when I'm in my kitchen, so I picked the Homerun roses that are very disease and mildew resistant. Blooms are incredible red from late spring until fall.
I then was talking to my boss about wanting some beautiful vines (clematis, climbing roses, wisteria, etc.) and he told me to grab the climbing hydrangea that doesn't sell well because it needs to be planted and doesn't show a lot of growth in a pot. The climbing hydrangea takes 3-5 years to really get going, but once it does, watch out!! Covered in hydrangea blossoms with fantastic foliage...and isn't scared of the sun. The best part...it was FREE!! Hey, I can be patient when it's free!
Lastly, I bought a the 'Golden Carousel" barberry that is electric chartreuse during the spring and summer, and then changes to multiple colors in the fall. I fell in love with it last fall, but was afraid to plant that one late. It also will go in the backyard...After looking up pics on line, there just isn't any pictures to do this plant justice.
With weather being rainy off and on today and tomorrow, I probably won't get to planting these until Monday. Which is fine, since it's closer to Mother's Day no frost zone. I told you I was impatient!! Pretty soon I'll invite you all over to see what's been planted. May is always a fun time to stroll around...but I know Brian wants his grass to look better before there is any strolling at all. The boys' high traffic playing football has slowed a lot of the growth, and the dog's urine has not helped any. Thank goodness for a slow spring to help it dig it's roots in.
Next weekend...planting my veggies on Mother's Day with my boys! :)
Fantastic news
Mom had her CA125 test results come back yesterday, and the number is.....
Wait for it....
14!!
Now, remember...she had the last chemo on Wednesday, so they'll take another test in three weeks to see what her numbers are.
Please pray for mom and dad to be able to do this last one. I will be able to go over to mom and dad's house on Sunday it looks like, so that will give them the break they need. Both are worn out, both are having cabin fever, and both are driving each other crazy. Pray that they might have some time to themselves after this is all done (I mean away from each other...ha ha) and then have the heart grow fonder and all of that. Mom's talking about going to visit her sister in St. Louis, and dad's talking about going to his reunion in August. A nice break for the both of them.
Wait for it....
14!!
Now, remember...she had the last chemo on Wednesday, so they'll take another test in three weeks to see what her numbers are.
Please pray for mom and dad to be able to do this last one. I will be able to go over to mom and dad's house on Sunday it looks like, so that will give them the break they need. Both are worn out, both are having cabin fever, and both are driving each other crazy. Pray that they might have some time to themselves after this is all done (I mean away from each other...ha ha) and then have the heart grow fonder and all of that. Mom's talking about going to visit her sister in St. Louis, and dad's talking about going to his reunion in August. A nice break for the both of them.
