Friday, February 13, 2009

The past

Joining facebook has been interesting. As soon as I added my maiden name, I've suddenly been in touch with a ton of people that I grew up with both in Kansas and here in CO. I love the recent contact because I'm nosy and want to see how everyone is doing, plus it's just great to reconnect with old friends. However, it's making me think of old high school days and I just didn't really enjoy high school all that much.

Thinking back, I'm not sure WHY I didn't enjoy it. I think my freshman year was great. I was best friends with Anne and we did everything together. Then, our Sophmore year (I think?? It's a blur) is when Anne and I moved our separate ways and I had to find out who I was. This is impossible to do when you are in high school. Who was I? I was a very hyper person who thought high school "titles" were ridiculous. This was mostly because I didn't fit in to any of the titles that were labeled. Not a jock. Not a nerd. Not a stoner. Not a freak. I was just normal...trying to live my life with a smile on my face. So, to combat or rebel against labels, I was an acquaintance with a lot of people from all said groups. It seemed to work, I had many friends, but I was still trying to figure out who I was. There was never a time that I "fit in" anywhere. I think a lot of it was by choice because I still was hurt losing the friend that I loved so dearly, and never knew why the friendship dissolved. I believe I didn't want to get that close to anyone again because I knew high school wasn't permanent, that whomever I became friends with would be temporary...only a few more years. So, I hung out with Carrie, and then hung out with Amy, and then hung out with no one. I've always been the type of person to have one really great friend, and let the rest stay just a tad out of reach.

Did I hate highschool? No. I just know it isn't something that I'd want to do again. I don't think of it, I hardly even remember it.

I found myself when I found my husband. A few years later. I've always been a late bloomer.

1 comment:

Nancy said...

So. Ya. I can totally relate. I shouldn't really be all that surprised, I guess. :)