Friday, January 15, 2010

200th post

Yay!

Surgery scheduled for the 26th of this month. This makes me happy.

Decision

I met with the surgeon yesterday after finding out I indeed have gallstones. However, the surgeon called it sludge which I am guessing is a lot of small gallstones. After weighing my options, I have decided to have the surgery. I'm a little wary of the people who have said that they still have pain even after the surgery, but I'm hoping that they were a little further gone than I am. I just know that I can't eat like this anymore. It brings me to tears. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous, but I can't live off of salads. My weight is dropping off like crazy, and I didn't have a lot of weight to lose. I am not happy with this, and all I can do is hope that the surgery works. I'm hoping the "surgery scheduler" will be calling me very, very soon, because I know I will have to wait a bit for the surgery anyways. I just want all of this to be over. The pain is horrendous, and I'm eating RIGHT. Everything seems to be giving me pain now.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

For those that travel from blotanical

I feel like I'm a bit of a liar as you visit my site. I am a HUGE gardener, love everything about it, work at a nursery and during the spring through fall months, my blog is pretty much ALL about gardening. However, I also live in Colorado where there is not a lot going on in my gardens (read...nothing) the months of November through March, so I tend to talk about my family, other things happening in my life, friends and just about nothing. If you are visiting, please look under the topics, and you might find what you're looking for. I have tried to get better and label them appropriately, but am a busy mother of three and haven't had time to finish all of them. Welcome to this webpage! Come back and visit in March! :)

Vegan?

I ended up calling another doctor's office and got in earlier the same day I had the other appointment at the other doctor's office. I really wanted to say a big "screw you!!" to the previous doctor's office, but will instead be a bigger person and just ask for my records. The new doctor's office has a wonderful staff, wonderful doctor. Immediately had blood work done (which came back fine) and am scheduled to go in for an ultrasound Monday morning. He is thinking it's gallstones. Now, of all the things it could be, that isn't the worst, but because of what causes the PAIN from gallstones, I am now a vegan. Ugh. No animal products. I tasted soy milk for the first time this morning. Tried to get past the yellowish color that it was. Not bad, but it's not milk.

The boys and Brian are ready for me to be able to eat normally. When there is only two of you, you can pretty much cook for yourself and then for the other, but when there's more than just two, that's a lot of extra work to do, so the boys have been eating what I am able to eat. Brian and Daegan went to the store and bought makings for a fantastic salad (day 3 of eating salads for lunch and/or dinner). He also bought the soy milk, no cholesterol butter and other things that made him feel really, really old. Ha! I appreciate his trying to make me feel better, I really do. It might kill me right now to see them eating a pizza at this time. Or hot wings, which is something Corrin is asking for daily. My kids are traitors. ;)

Truthfully, this whole thing has made me rethink what I have been eating. I believe the bloodwork would have shown high cholesterol if I had it, but we still eat lots of meat and dairy, and should be eating more salads that consist more than a couple of vegetables. We eat canned and frozen veggies as sides, but rarely eat fresh ones (unless it's the summer, we eat alot of fresh things then). I don't think we eat UNhealthy, we could just eat healthier.

I do miss cheese. A lot. And a cheeseburger sounds delightful right now. I will continue to eat this way until I figure out what exactly is going on because the pain has almost stopped. I just have the occasional sharp pains in my abdominal area. Even after the ultrasound, there is the chance that 1) I DO have gallstones and they are small, which means they can give me a medicine to help shrink them and I continue to eat the way I am for awhile 2) I have large gallstones and damage to my gallbladder which means I have to have surgery, and have to continue to eat the way I am until surgery or 3) it's NOT gallstones and we have more tests to do and I continue to eat the way that I am eating until we figure out what the problem is.

Yeah, I'm a bit pissy.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Switcheroo

With the current temps at -4 and the high of only 9, I have to try to reschedule my doctor's appt. The boys can't walk home in this weather. The more I think about how upset I was the day I called to make an appointment, the more I realize I have put up with that doctor's office long enough. If I can't get into another doctor today, I will plead with the current office to fit me in somewhere else. It is such a pain to switch doctors, but since I really got on my mom's case a few years ago to switch, I should follow my own advice. I PAY them to take care of me. I expect better service from them and I shouldn't have to put up with the long times on hold, the longer times waiting in the waiting room, and then the rude behavior from the front office and nurses. Time to switch!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Today was better

The doctor's office was not able to see me until Thursday at 3:00 p.m. The woman that I talked to on the phone suggested that I go to the ER. Um...no. What could they do for me? Hydrate me with an IV and then I'd sit there for 5 hours! I decided to call other doctors within the area, but none could see me, so I am eating light meals that are bland and hoping for the best until Thursday. I am feeling better with eating like that, so I'll be able to tell the doctor that. Not sure if it's gallstones, an ulcer or a weird stomach flu, but I have to function. I did get to the store today which was a HUGE feat! Got food for the boys and Brian and got me some things that I could eat during the day and evening. I know it's better because steak sounded good. I can't eat it, but it sounded yummy. I just want to get better before Friday because that is when Brian and I are celebrating our 15 Anniversary!

I ate a bowl of rice and was full half way through. Not good. However, I've also had a banana, some yogurt and lots of liquid during the day. I was also able to take a nap which is why I'm still awake now, so that helped a lot!

Keep praying, guys. I've loved the phone calls and appreciate the well wishes. I have to say, I won't be able to eat like this forever, so I hope they find out what is wrong! I enjoy the flavor of food too much!!
Last night was bad. Serious pain in my stomach. Stomach gurgling. Up from 3 am on. Would try to lie on my side and it was worse, especially my right side. Nausea doesn't make me worried. Sharp pains do. Skipping coffee completely this morning, scared what it will do to me!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Sick

Since Dec. 26 I have had problems with nausea, feeling light headed, lack of appetite. After putting up with it for a couple of days, it seemed to go away. I then had diarreah (I know, TMI) for several days, but the nausea seemed to go away. Daegan then had diarreah, so I thought I had some sort of bug that was passed on. I wake up feeling nauseous, then it seems to go away for a little bit and then comes back. I have no idea what is going on, but when I did research about how long stomach flu lasts, it said it could last up to 10 days, so I've held off going to the doctor. I'm on day 10, and am making myself eat because I need to, but nothing sounds good. The thought of food makes me ill. I have not thrown up during this entire ordeal. I sometimes have just a rumbling stomach, sometimes pain in my right side like a stitch, sometimes have heartburn. Sometimes sharp pain in my abdominal region. Multiple symptoms that aren't happening every day. It is impossible to diagnose over the internet because all of these symptoms could be several things. Today I had fried chicken for lunch, took a nap and woke up feeling terrible. I will try to stay away from greasy foods for the time being. I've been drinking small amounts of coffee in the morning, but have completely taken caffeine out of my diet the rest of the day.

I really do NOT believe that I am pregnant since the symptoms started two days after my last period. After being pregnant three times, you realize that you miss your period and THEN the nausea starts happening. It is a slight fear, because we really are done, but I've wasted a lot of money on pregnancy tests and I really believe it is something else.

Tomorrow I hope to get in to the doctor, but after reading several posts on forums, it doesn't look like they'll be able to help right away. In the meantime, I can't make myself go to the store to stock up on food (stomach roll), and I'm so tired! Things aren't getting done around the house which makes me feel guilty. Brian showed signs of being annoyed this evening, which I GET, because when he was really sick awhile ago, I got annoyed, too. Mostly because we feel helpless that we can't make it better, plus it's just annoying having to deal with someone that is sick constantly. I get that. If I could feel better right now I would!

I have no idea what to do. I'm hoping the doctor will have a suggestion.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Confrontation

I am wondering, is there a point where you are TOO truthful? I am proud of the fact that I am truthful, but I wonder if I am too truthful. I sometimes say things that might seem hurtful when I don't mean them to be, but I am under the impression that I would much rather hear the truth than guess. I also know that when someone tells me that I either pissed them off, or hurt them, or anything at all, that it helps THEM when they unload and talk of the hurt that they feel. I love these people enough that I will take their hurt, take the criticism, take their pain, and make them feel better by unloading their burdens.

I know that within my group of friends that I am known for saying it the way it is, but I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I try to be tactful. The joke was that I can say "no" when I don't want to do something when other people have problems saying that. That they never have to guess where I am coming from because I tell them. I am in the process of trying to teach a friend how to be more vocal. Her feelings are there, but she's not sure how to be confrontational about things.

I'm to the age where I don't need games. I don't need to mince words. I want strong relationships that can endure the truth. I believe I have surrounded myself with people that not only appreciate that, but can stand it. I am a very lucky person indeed.

God. I'm such a hypocrite. Here I'm being vague with what I'm talking about for fear of hurting someone else as I write this. Guess I'm not that honest after all.