Monday, November 10, 2008


Because of my daze, I haven't been able to retain all of the information the nurses and doctors have been telling my family and myself. Yesterday, after being at the hospital, I started hearing tidbits that nagged at me through the entire day. "Lived a long time. At least 6-7 years when diagnosed." "Not through the next hard part, infection" and "Complications from the chemo". When you hear technical terms, it's easy for the mind to gloss over some of it, give the terms time to go through your head, and then BAM! reality hits. We're talking limited time, here. I keep hearing 3-5 years. 35-50% of women with ovarian cancer can get it again. I keep hearing about cancer swimming around in her abdomen. God, I know they have to be honest, but right now, I am thankful my mother is so out of it from the morphine that she's not retaining any of these facts. Let her body heal first, and then let the situation fully hit her.
I'm at the down part of the day, again. I'll be taking off visiting her today, and will be back tomorrow. I'll be doing a lot of research, because it's the only thing I CAN do.
As for the positives yesterday, mom was able to get out of bed, walk down the hall, and then lay down again. She took two walks...the second longer than the first which was great! My aunt and I were thoroughly pissed when we heard she had a terrible, pain filled night the first night because somehow her IV had come apart and the drugs for pain weren't getting into her body, but spilling onto the floor. My mom kept saying she kept hitting the button, and no relief was happening. I'm a pretty even tempered person, but was ready to kick ass and take names later when I heard about this!! The nurse evidently figured out the problem and fixed it, but we weren't happy to hear about it, and felt guilty for leaving her alone the first night.

Edit: did some research. Hard facts to swallow.

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