Sunday, January 3, 2010

Confrontation

I am wondering, is there a point where you are TOO truthful? I am proud of the fact that I am truthful, but I wonder if I am too truthful. I sometimes say things that might seem hurtful when I don't mean them to be, but I am under the impression that I would much rather hear the truth than guess. I also know that when someone tells me that I either pissed them off, or hurt them, or anything at all, that it helps THEM when they unload and talk of the hurt that they feel. I love these people enough that I will take their hurt, take the criticism, take their pain, and make them feel better by unloading their burdens.

I know that within my group of friends that I am known for saying it the way it is, but I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I try to be tactful. The joke was that I can say "no" when I don't want to do something when other people have problems saying that. That they never have to guess where I am coming from because I tell them. I am in the process of trying to teach a friend how to be more vocal. Her feelings are there, but she's not sure how to be confrontational about things.

I'm to the age where I don't need games. I don't need to mince words. I want strong relationships that can endure the truth. I believe I have surrounded myself with people that not only appreciate that, but can stand it. I am a very lucky person indeed.

God. I'm such a hypocrite. Here I'm being vague with what I'm talking about for fear of hurting someone else as I write this. Guess I'm not that honest after all.

5 comments:

Cari said...

We must always be true to ourselves, Heather. I'm sure your friends love you for who you are and even rely on your ability to cut through the bullshit.

I try to stay close to folks like that. I find them to be the most reliable and forthright. Two things I expect from true friends ; )

It's just us said...

I ditto Cari. We love you for who you are and admire the way you can say it how it is. LOVE YOU!!!!

Kara said...

Definitely agree with the other two. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to just say it. It would make things so much easier for me at times.
This is one of the many qualities I admire about you!!! =)

Heather said...

Oooh, cut through the bullshit. I like that!

Angela said...

I love you and the fact that I can trust we will always talk it out. I have more respect for you the way you are and I am trying to learn from your example. I've already tested your theory recently and I've seen it gain me an incredible friendship that I never knew could be there. Clarity is a beautiful thing. I wish I had listened to you earlier.