Our new baby

Brian has been wanting a trailer for us to be able to go on more vacations. We have had several years where we have been working on the house, and now it's time to venture out as a family. First trip? My family reunion in Missouri. We are also hoping to camp at the Ozark's if Brian and I can get the extra time off.

After looking around, I started to get excited. No more windy days blowing through the pop up camper. Now, I loved my in-laws pop up. It allowed us to go camping when the boys were small, and it was a lot of fun. As the boys are getting bigger, however, we are on each other with every step. Having a 6'4" tall son makes this even more important. Gotta spread out! This unit allows us to move around a bit. It's a Jayco 29BH which means it's 29' long and has bunks in it. A bunk in the back with twin on top and double on bottom. A large couch that folds out to a bed and the queen on the other side. Comes with shower, toilet and sink along with a kitchen. Could sleep 9 if really needed. It had everything we wanted except an outside grill, which I am sure Brian will be looking at soon. :)

I AM SO EXCITED!!! We get to bring her home on Friday! These are the dealership photos. I am sure I will be taking more. lol

Update Doc #2

Sorry for taking my time to post. I was very fortunate to have my hubby home for four days in a row and made the most of it.

Mom and dad went to meet with Dr. Mary Jo and although a scary meeting for mom, it did shed a little more light on the subject. To put it frankly, surgery is out of the question right now. With the cancer ready to attach onto anything, it's better for it to stay with the lymph nodes rather than move on to other places like lungs and such. So...as of now...no surgery.

Mom will continue to stay on the pill she is taking. We can pray that that will work. How wonderful if she gets her scan and the cancer has diminished!!

They also heard of certain chemo plans that might work better or have less long lasting side effects. Again, a lot of decisions to be made, but as time goes on we fear less about the cancer being back and are now just trying to calm mom's heart about the upcoming chemo (if needed). We worry of neuropathy as mom already has issues with her MS and numbness in fingers and feet when it rises.

I still ask for constant prayer for my mom to not only be healed, but to calm her anxiety. She is really struggling with it. The medicine she is on doesn't seem to be helping all that much. I will be calling her later today and hoping it has curbed a little. Those that deal with anxiety know how it can take over.

Not much more to update than that.

Update for doc #1

Mom and dad met with the oncologist yesterday. Not a lot of info was gleaned from the conversation. We found out there were several lymph nodes enlarged (15-30%). None of them are on vital tissue, organs or any other place. Which makes it easier if mom chooses surgery to remove them.

Mom now has decided NOT to do the IP. I talked to dad briefly, and not mom, so I don't know what happened there...if the doctor didn't think it would be more beneficial, or if the doctor said it was extremely hard on the body. Doesn't matter...she's not doing it.

So now, dad and the doctor are looking at a clinical trial in Denver to make sure the medication mom is currently on won't keep her out of the trial. It looks like we still have to wait until 3 months for the pet scan, and for more time in between the chemo treatments. However, mom and dad will meeting with another doctor on Friday, and we might hear more from her. There are other clinical trials throughout the country, too, that dad is looking at. It all matters what is most beneficial and what could yield the best results. Avastin was brought up, because her oncologist has seen good results from the usage of it.

I talked to mom yesterday before her appointment and she sounds good. I tell you people, prayer works. Her spirits were a LOT higher. She wants to fight, she doesn't want to die. She said she needs to hear positive thinking. I would suggest to NOT have the words, "I'm sorry" come out of your mouth if you talk to her. I know it's easy for it to spill (because you ARE sorry!!) but focus on what's next...and keep her busy. She's going to have a few months to have to sit and wait.

I am most sad that it sounds like mom and dad's Scotland trip has been temporarily put on hold. It's all in the timing. Last chemo, the last two treatments were very hard and took longer to bounce back. If she starts in June, it's getting close to the September mark for her final treatments.

As for me and how I am dealing...need to go to the doctor for anxiety. My stomach is upset all of the time. Just anxious and not feeling all that great. As time goes on, I am hoping it will get easier. I just don't know.

Keep praying!!

Dog Days

FINALLY! Found a woman's voice that I love. I don't know if you were able to watch the Grammy's last night, but Florence sang with four other women a tribute to Aretha Franklin. Just an incredible voice, and I haven't been able to stop listening to this song since last week!! Florence + The Machine "Dog Days Are Over" The video is a LITTLE strange, but I sure enjoy her voice!

Not good news

As some of you have heard, mom's cancer is back. NOT with a vengeance ...we are glad that she has been getting the scans more often because of the clinical trial. However, you have to treat it fast as it is so quick at spreading. The cancer is located on a lymphnode located in her stomach. The initial procedure is giving mom a drug that is an estrogen prohibitor similar to what breast cancer patients have to take. After three months, they will take another scan. In the meantime, that allows more time between chemo sessions which has been proven to work better with more time in between. Mom and dad will be meeting with mom's oncologist on Monday and getting a second opinion from the surgeon who did mom's initial surgery in 2009 on Friday. Both women are very knowledgeable about ovarian cancer and mom.

After some reeling, mom is ready for action. When given the diagnosis of PPC, the oncologist suggested mom do the IP chemo treatment. Essentially, that is chemo directly going to her midsection (where the cancer is) rather than through all of blood stream. Mom said no to this at first but now is on board.

I would ask that you pray for these things specifically :

1) Allow the doctors to use their knowledge of mom and her personality to offer all that is available.
2) Calm my mom's heart, anxiety and shower her with support.
3) As my dad does all the research, let him and mom speak frankly to each other. When fear is involved, emotions can get in the way.
4) Pray for mom, dad, me, and all of our loved ones. Let us lift mom up, encourage her and be there for each other
5) if it is God's will, please heal my mother.

More updates will be posted. The knowledge is still new and we are dealing with it the best way we can.

Phone call

Mind reeling, going to places I don't want it to go. So worried and am praying non stop. Angry, confused, frustrated, and so impatient for more information. The waiting for the phone call is always the worst.

Kind of wish I went to my classes today but know how my mind works. I would have been useless.

I wish she would call.

12 days AFTER Christmas

It's been cold. And snowy. Two things that TOGETHER make it very hard to deal with. The boys have had no school because of the temps, and I can't kick them out because when I say very cold...I mean one day we had a high of 0. Negative 25 with wind chill. It's been an...entertaining week!

So, here's a wrap up:

12 loads of laundry
11 games of Hangman
10 days of whining
9 fights to break up
8 meals to cook
7 degrees, it's warming!
6 days of freezing
5...inches of snow!
4 daily school trips
3 rowdy boys
2 frozen pipes
and a mom stuck in the house!!!

More snow is on it's way! I will venture out because we have an actual high that makes sense today. Time to stock up on the food. Who knew that a quarter of Brian's checks would go to groceries with three boys in the house?!?

If you are in the other 1/3 of our country that the weather has made time stand still, stay warm and safe!

It hasn't stopped, the fear

Mom goes in for her CA125 and Pet scan today. Every three months, like clockwork. I really, really try to be optimistic, but know we all will be devastated to hear bad news. She decided to go in today so she could hear results tomorrow and not have to wait the weekend. I also appreciate that. I can't stand the waiting game.

I, along with other cousins, have been coordinating our reunion for this year. It had been mentioned to maybe put it off for another year because it was getting hard to find a place. In the back of my mind, no matter how much I tried not to listen to it, was the thought that we might not HAVE another year. Make the time important! Make it happen!! So, we made it happen and will all be gathering in June.

I don't think of the cancer daily. I can go several days without thinking of it. However, when I hear that a friend's cancer came back, it hits me like a ton of bricks. When I have friends dying, it brings me to tears for so many reasons.

I hate cancer.