Where is my place of zen?

I am going batshit crazy over here! Birthday tomorrow, Christmas on Saturday ....I need a Xanax!

Life...it will get you everytime!

Highs and Lows

Today was a very hard day. I went to my friends funeral which they call a "Celebration of Life", but it was hard nonetheless. The saying goodbye ...missing someone. Doing too little, too late. I knew the end was near but stayed away because it was too close to home. I felt guilty because my mom is doing well, and she wasn't. Same cancer, same stage. What else is there left to say? So, with the guilt and the sadness, I said goodbye to a lovely woman that motivated me, inspired me, and made me wonder the beauty of life and absolute unfairness of it all. Why not a miracle? It's interesting because that was brought up at the funeral. How she never gave up and how the fact that we knew her and her struggle ...and her amazing relationship with God...she WAS a miracle. It was a lovely service. I am glad I went.

After the service I went to the school and brought Birthday treats for Riordan for an early Birthday celebration. Since his birthday's during Winter Break, we have to celebrate early. He LOVED it. He is such a mini me. Extreme high. I am so grateful to be be able to attend these fun parties for my son's! It made his day and I love helping him have a great day!

Later this week we have the Holiday Bazaar and the Christmas Party to prepare for. So much to do but so much fun to celebrate! So, long story short, I am exhausted. Wish I could sleep for a day.

Christmas is....

As another Christmas approaches, I get to contemplate. I have been so busy with the boys school activities, donating my time, redoing my family room (whoever says staying at home is boring obviously isn't doing it right...ha!) that I have to MAKE myself stop and reflect on the little things so I still appreciate Christmas. We get so wrapped up in Holiday parties and shopping that I feel we really need to stop, take a breath, and just enjoy each other. Last night we all got bundled up and went to our town's Festival of Lights. Expecting the older two to throw a fit, I was holding my breath, waiting for the outcries that they were too old. Nothing came. Not even a single complaint about dressing warmly! We all shuffled in the car, parked and then walked to the main street. Watched the street fill with people...huddled together for warmth. As we watched the floats go by, people would yell, "Merry Christmas!" and we would yell it back. I watched the boys have fun being kids. I appreciate that this might be our last year playing Santa, so we are revelling in the magic. I have the Christmas story brought out, just getting ready to read. Brian took Daegan out shopping today and Daegan came home with a huge smile on his face. Not only did he get to spend time with dad, but he got to get "really cool things for the family". He loves the picking out, and loves the anticipation of his brothers opening their gifts. Too much fun! As the boys get older, I tell them...

Christmas
is
enjoying each other
being thankful we are all together
counting our blessings
caring more about other's happiness over our own
sharing love
sharing Christ
loving one another
giving to those in need
swallowing pride
forgiving
remembering...