Thoughts, ramblings, dreams and ponderings.

Mom update

2011-04-19T18:31:00.000-06:00

There isn't one. We are still waiting for mid -May for mom's next scan to see if her daily medication is working. Minus some pain in her knees she is doing well. Spirits are still up and she is trying to stay busy. Please continue to pray for her. :) We hope that there will be no new growth and or stagnant growth on her lymphnodes and to continue on the medication for another three months. Dad is still looking up trials just in case and mom is still trying to decide on what chemo treatment to take if needed. That's all of an update I have at this time!

What's happening in a Colorado garden

2011-04-18T06:31:00.000-06:00

Dividing. Or trying to. With these winds I have tried to work outside but keep blowing sideways. Quite a few things to divide to make the plants look their best! Shasta daisies (the great whole in the middle is a clear indication they need division ), Gallardia, or blanket flower (these suckers bloom themselves to death. Division rejuvenates them), asters (they will take over, and who doesn't want more in other places?), Yarrow (same as asters...for the most part!), Rudbeckia and Red Valerian(too close to my flagstone path. I also need to move my echinacea Magnus as it gets in my way getting out of my car. Looking at my Dianthus, too, which needs some new life. That essentially is why we divide. To breathe new life into our plants. They get too crowded where they are and their roots need breathing room.

Preparing soil. I also re-tilled my vegetable garden while adding a new product that has no poop in it! All vegetable and fruit compost. I am curious to see the results. I planted my first round of lettuce and snap peas (a little late) and am very happy with the soil.

Pulling weeds. Get 'em!! Right now they are relatively small but waiting one week could be the difference of a hand spade to a garden shovel! Every year we have little elms that try to grow, and we saw the first round this weekend.

Feeding. Fed all of my trees and shrubs and now am feeding my perennials. Lots of work, but it is worth it with our terrible soil!

Planning. Moving plants in other places to make room for more purchases this spring!

Patience, young jedi

2011-04-11T20:10:00.001-06:00

Death of plants is no more. What a difference a week or two makes! I only had one plant in the back croak (delphinium ) and one in the front not making it. Year four on my Furman's red sage, and year three with my Vermilion Bluff sage. Both are iffy out here, but I am very happy with my results. I still have been mulching heavily in the winter, and cutting down in the spring. Also, my chocolate flower is showing life from the ground up! So excited as it is a very neat perennial. Tomorrow I will be dividing and conquering before the plants get too big. This also will allow enough time for the roots to really take hold before the heat comes. Lisa and I were looking at perennials, shrubs and such to order and I got very excited thinking about planting my herbs this year. Cilantro, thyme, Basil, oregano, dill. Mmmmm. Cannot wait! Is it Mother's Day yet? Is there something you can't wait to plant this year?

Realization

2011-04-10T20:57:00.000-06:00

Truth smacks me in the face sometimes. I find that type works well with me. As Brian is getting more time off, I feel a need to spend time with my family more and more. I feel as if the time the boys will want anything to do with us is becoming limited and we need to grab onto the time we do have them. This is partly the reason I was hesitant to work more hours because when I am home, I am pretty exhausted. So, the idea is, with the trailer in tow, we will get away from the daily distractions. People tell you the time you have with them is short. I have stayed at home and felt like I have seen everything. However, even though they are self reliant and don't need me as much, they still have a lot of growing to do.

Which brings me to my realization. I spend too much time on my phone. My kid straight up had told me that and I ignored it. He told me he needed to talk to me and to get off my phone. Bam! This half listening thing has got to stop. So, rules for me are...phone goes in my purse for at least three hours. No checking it even if I hear the telltale sign of texts. No going to my favorite forum for awhile. Just spend the time with them. I am working four days a week which makes my weekend truly short. I want to give that time to them. I am trying this out!! Hopefully I will stick with it!

The death of plants

2011-03-29T09:00:00.000-06:00

It seems I have lost quite a few of my perennials over the winter. I am not sure if it is because of the dry fall, dry and cold winter, or dry spring (are you seeing a pattern here?) Just proves that you really have to hand water to keep them alive here in Colorado.

Most of the items I lost were from smaller containers, and planted later in the growing season. In my experience, the gallon size perennials seem to have a higher success rate than the 2 or 3 inch. I also tried chocolate flower and am very disappointed that that one doesn't seem to be coming back. I just have to tell myself that it's early, and to give them a little more time to sprout from the ground. The one that I am MOST surprised that didn't come back was my Jacob's Kline Monarda. I have NEVER had problems with Monarda coming back (invasive, anyone?) and am extremely disappointed because I have to order that one online. Again, I am guessing it is a dryness issue since Monarda likes it a little damp.

I had almost convinced myself that I would limit my plant spending this year as I wanted to see how everything was filling out. Since I keep adding year to year, a lot of my plants are on second and third years, and will be a true joy to behold. I keep getting magazines of these lush, beautiful gardens and would love that look. Obviously, I need to add more shrubs to my gardens for the greenery. I also need to move to a place that isn't quite as arid. ;)

I am happy to note that even though I didn't water ONCE, my raspberry in my large wine barrel is alive and well. This should be the year we get fruit on it, so I am glad it survived my neglect. I highly recommend planting your raspberries in a wine barrel because it keeps it contained and doesn't seem to be fussy.

Did any of you lose anything this year? It's like saying goodbye to an old friend. It makes me melancholy. However, when I am at work, I tend to get over the sadness quickly because there is always another beautiful plant to replace the old one!!

What should I be planting?

2011-03-24T07:02:00.000-06:00

With the warmer weather upon us, the avid gardener is itching to put his/her hands in the dirt. It's still too early to plant a lot, but you can start on your vegetable gardens!

Here's a list of things that you can start:
Broccoli, cabbage, onion, garlic, lettuce, peas, radish, spinach, turnips and brussel sprouts! All are very frost tolerant and can be planted with a sigh of contentment.

As time is heading towards April, you can get ready to plant:
beets, carrots, parsley, perennial herbs (personally, I would cover these), parsnips, potatoes, swiss chard, asparagus and rhubarb.

Have fun planting! If you have any questions on what does better started indoors or out, let us know, but I have direct sown all of these vegetables with no problems...as long as I keep them moist! With hand watering, it's sometimes harder to do.

You can, of course, plant trees anytime. At Picadilly, we have tons of bareroot trees and shrubs for your picking! Come by and see us!

Note to anyone who thinks differently

2011-03-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

I, as a stay-at-home mom, do NOT sit on my ass all day waiting for 1)a phone call, 2) the mail 3) my favorite t.v. show to come on. My life is too busy for all three.

Just want that out there. Thanks.

Forgiveness

2011-03-09T09:42:00.001-07:00

I find being human has quite a few challenges. One being forgiveness, especially when the person hasn't asked to be forgiven, or refuses to acknowledge they have done anything wrong. I can't see in their hearts and know that for certain, but if there isn't any type of language asking for forgiveness...I have a hard time forgiving. Personal accountability and all of that.

I have been dealing with some fun things in my life for several years and it has reached its head fully the past couple of months. It has kept me up at nights. Causing dreams that make me want to have my head examined. Causing anxiety in an already anxious time.

I went to church on Sunday and listened to the Parable of the Prodigal Son. It spoke of the father's forgiveness towards his son. It also spoke of the older brother and how he also had to forgive. It then spoke of the younger son, and his asking, no BEGGING for forgiveness in his heart, but his father forgiving him on sight. It resonated through me. I prayed with everything I had to soften my heart. Soften. Cleanse it.

Am I supposed to forgive only if the person asks for it? What if they don't want my forgiveness? What if they don't think they have done anything wrong? I am sure I have hurt people in my lifetime unknowingly and would want them to forgive me for my actions, my ever so tactless tongue.

The Bible says in so many ways that we are commanded to forgive. That should be enough. To keep asking for help to forgive, to keep forgiving, because God forgives us. So, I am putting it out there, whether you want it or not. I forgive you. I am tired of the bickering, the heated discussions, the problems. I ask that you forgive my words and actions from bitterness. Let us both have the grace to forgive each other as we are commanded to do. And let's be honest with our own hearts and if we still carry hostility, to keep praying for freedom!!

Ephesians 4:32 ESV
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Luke 6:37 ESV
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

Colossians 3:13 ESV
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15 ESV
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Mark 11:25 ESV
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Luke 6:27 ESV
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

Luke 17:3-4 ESV
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Matthew 18:21-22 ESV
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

1 John 1:9 ESV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 Peter 3:9 ESV
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

Matthew 6:14 ESV
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,

2011-03-08T12:21:00.001-07:00

As it's snowing outside, I am just telling myself to go around and look at my gardens to see splashes of color here and there. My crocuses are up, and my bulbs are peeking through the ground. Is it spring yet?? I am so ready for it this year!!

Brian and I have had a busy weekend. We've been getting our trailer essentials and loading them in. After a wonderful trip to Target, we are now set with dishes. Since I keep everything, all of our bedding is set. There are just a few more items, and then we are ready for our first trip. I am hoping it warms up a little more before we head out! Destination...not sure yet. We are thinking Boyd Lake, but haven't made up our minds.

We get to have dinner over at mom and dad's. Since I worked the past few weeks, I haven't had time to visit much with them. A couple of Sunday's ago I went to listen to my father preach and then had lunch with them afterward. It was nice to see them and just spend time with them. I miss them a lot.

Ah. Work. It's going well. I started earlier than I usually do and potted up hundreds of roses in a short time. About 120-125 in one day. I will be having down time because a coworker is back, so I am going to try to keep using my muscles so they don't go in shock again. It would be a lot easier if it were warm!! Not sure what my schedule will be like. It's all up in the air right now, just like every year.

Things to pay attention to in your gardens. With the warmer weather this week, I would water again (of course) and about day 3 of warm weather, you can even fertilize. March-April is when I normally do it, but you can wait until May. I just noticed that when I fertilize a little earlier, the bugs seem to stay away more often. A healthier tree they do not like!! Also, make sure your iris beds are cleaned up. This is the time where fungus and bugs start going crazy. Pretty much clean up is starting...just keep the mulch around things that the cold air could hurt. I still don't prune my roses until April-May.

This weekend I will be planting spinach, beans, onions and lettuce and different intervals to get started on the crops. So excited to have fresh produce again!!

Here's to a happy, work filled spring! I can feel it!

Our new baby

2011-02-23T15:02:00.002-07:00

Brian has been wanting a trailer for us to be able to go on more vacations. We have had several years where we have been working on the house, and now it's time to venture out as a family. First trip? My family reunion in Missouri. We are also hoping to camp at the Ozark's if Brian and I can get the extra time off.

After looking around, I started to get excited. No more windy days blowing through the pop up camper. Now, I loved my in-laws pop up. It allowed us to go camping when the boys were small, and it was a lot of fun. As the boys are getting bigger, however, we are on each other with every step. Having a 6'4" tall son makes this even more important. Gotta spread out! This unit allows us to move around a bit. It's a Jayco 29BH which means it's 29' long and has bunks in it. A bunk in the back with twin on top and double on bottom. A large couch that folds out to a bed and the queen on the other side. Comes with shower, toilet and sink along with a kitchen. Could sleep 9 if really needed. It had everything we wanted except an outside grill, which I am sure Brian will be looking at soon. :)

I AM SO EXCITED!!! We get to bring her home on Friday! These are the dealership photos. I am sure I will be taking more. lol

Update Doc #2

2011-02-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry for taking my time to post. I was very fortunate to have my hubby home for four days in a row and made the most of it.

Mom and dad went to meet with Dr. Mary Jo and although a scary meeting for mom, it did shed a little more light on the subject. To put it frankly, surgery is out of the question right now. With the cancer ready to attach onto anything, it's better for it to stay with the lymph nodes rather than move on to other places like lungs and such. So...as of now...no surgery.

Mom will continue to stay on the pill she is taking. We can pray that that will work. How wonderful if she gets her scan and the cancer has diminished!!

They also heard of certain chemo plans that might work better or have less long lasting side effects. Again, a lot of decisions to be made, but as time goes on we fear less about the cancer being back and are now just trying to calm mom's heart about the upcoming chemo (if needed). We worry of neuropathy as mom already has issues with her MS and numbness in fingers and feet when it rises.

I still ask for constant prayer for my mom to not only be healed, but to calm her anxiety. She is really struggling with it. The medicine she is on doesn't seem to be helping all that much. I will be calling her later today and hoping it has curbed a little. Those that deal with anxiety know how it can take over.

Not much more to update than that.

Update for doc #1

2011-02-15T07:06:00.000-07:00

Mom and dad met with the oncologist yesterday. Not a lot of info was gleaned from the conversation. We found out there were several lymph nodes enlarged (15-30%). None of them are on vital tissue, organs or any other place. Which makes it easier if mom chooses surgery to remove them.

Mom now has decided NOT to do the IP. I talked to dad briefly, and not mom, so I don't know what happened there...if the doctor didn't think it would be more beneficial, or if the doctor said it was extremely hard on the body. Doesn't matter...she's not doing it.

So now, dad and the doctor are looking at a clinical trial in Denver to make sure the medication mom is currently on won't keep her out of the trial. It looks like we still have to wait until 3 months for the pet scan, and for more time in between the chemo treatments. However, mom and dad will meeting with another doctor on Friday, and we might hear more from her. There are other clinical trials throughout the country, too, that dad is looking at. It all matters what is most beneficial and what could yield the best results. Avastin was brought up, because her oncologist has seen good results from the usage of it.

I talked to mom yesterday before her appointment and she sounds good. I tell you people, prayer works. Her spirits were a LOT higher. She wants to fight, she doesn't want to die. She said she needs to hear positive thinking. I would suggest to NOT have the words, "I'm sorry" come out of your mouth if you talk to her. I know it's easy for it to spill (because you ARE sorry!!) but focus on what's next...and keep her busy. She's going to have a few months to have to sit and wait.

I am most sad that it sounds like mom and dad's Scotland trip has been temporarily put on hold. It's all in the timing. Last chemo, the last two treatments were very hard and took longer to bounce back. If she starts in June, it's getting close to the September mark for her final treatments.

As for me and how I am dealing...need to go to the doctor for anxiety. My stomach is upset all of the time. Just anxious and not feeling all that great. As time goes on, I am hoping it will get easier. I just don't know.

Keep praying!!

Dog Days

2011-02-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! Found a woman's voice that I love. I don't know if you were able to watch the Grammy's last night, but Florence sang with four other women a tribute to Aretha Franklin. Just an incredible voice, and I haven't been able to stop listening to this song since last week!! Florence + The Machine "Dog Days Are Over" The video is a LITTLE strange, but I sure enjoy her voice!

Not good news

2011-02-11T13:51:00.001-07:00

As some of you have heard, mom's cancer is back. NOT with a vengeance ...we are glad that she has been getting the scans more often because of the clinical trial. However, you have to treat it fast as it is so quick at spreading. The cancer is located on a lymphnode located in her stomach. The initial procedure is giving mom a drug that is an estrogen prohibitor similar to what breast cancer patients have to take. After three months, they will take another scan. In the meantime, that allows more time between chemo sessions which has been proven to work better with more time in between. Mom and dad will be meeting with mom's oncologist on Monday and getting a second opinion from the surgeon who did mom's initial surgery in 2009 on Friday. Both women are very knowledgeable about ovarian cancer and mom.

After some reeling, mom is ready for action. When given the diagnosis of PPC, the oncologist suggested mom do the IP chemo treatment. Essentially, that is chemo directly going to her midsection (where the cancer is) rather than through all of blood stream. Mom said no to this at first but now is on board.

I would ask that you pray for these things specifically :

1) Allow the doctors to use their knowledge of mom and her personality to offer all that is available.
2) Calm my mom's heart, anxiety and shower her with support.
3) As my dad does all the research, let him and mom speak frankly to each other. When fear is involved, emotions can get in the way.
4) Pray for mom, dad, me, and all of our loved ones. Let us lift mom up, encourage her and be there for each other
5) if it is God's will, please heal my mother.

More updates will be posted. The knowledge is still new and we are dealing with it the best way we can.

Phone call

2011-02-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

Mind reeling, going to places I don't want it to go. So worried and am praying non stop. Angry, confused, frustrated, and so impatient for more information. The waiting for the phone call is always the worst.

Kind of wish I went to my classes today but know how my mind works. I would have been useless.

I wish she would call.

12 days AFTER Christmas

2011-02-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

It's been cold. And snowy. Two things that TOGETHER make it very hard to deal with. The boys have had no school because of the temps, and I can't kick them out because when I say very cold...I mean one day we had a high of 0. Negative 25 with wind chill. It's been an...entertaining week!

So, here's a wrap up:

12 loads of laundry
11 games of Hangman
10 days of whining
9 fights to break up
8 meals to cook
7 degrees, it's warming!
6 days of freezing
5...inches of snow!
4 daily school trips
3 rowdy boys
2 frozen pipes
and a mom stuck in the house!!!

More snow is on it's way! I will venture out because we have an actual high that makes sense today. Time to stock up on the food. Who knew that a quarter of Brian's checks would go to groceries with three boys in the house?!?

If you are in the other 1/3 of our country that the weather has made time stand still, stay warm and safe!

It hasn't stopped, the fear

2011-02-03T10:42:00.001-07:00

Mom goes in for her CA125 and Pet scan today. Every three months, like clockwork. I really, really try to be optimistic, but know we all will be devastated to hear bad news. She decided to go in today so she could hear results tomorrow and not have to wait the weekend. I also appreciate that. I can't stand the waiting game.

I, along with other cousins, have been coordinating our reunion for this year. It had been mentioned to maybe put it off for another year because it was getting hard to find a place. In the back of my mind, no matter how much I tried not to listen to it, was the thought that we might not HAVE another year. Make the time important! Make it happen!! So, we made it happen and will all be gathering in June.

I don't think of the cancer daily. I can go several days without thinking of it. However, when I hear that a friend's cancer came back, it hits me like a ton of bricks. When I have friends dying, it brings me to tears for so many reasons.

I hate cancer.

A question NOT to ask your spouse ie. "loaded questions"

2011-01-28T13:30:00.001-07:00

So, we're sitting around the dinner table, talking about a show called The Walking Dead. There is the main character, his wife and his best friend. We find out that the wife thought the main character (her hubby) had died and then starts to sleep with his best friend. Okay. I get it (sorta). Sadness. End of the world as we know it. Not sure how much time has passed so we'll let this go.

By season 6, we find out that somewhere between 30-45 days went by before she slept with her hubby's best friend. What? That can't be right. I don't like the main character's wife anymore....especially when we find out that the main character finds his wife, son AND best friend with other survivors...and no one says anything. No one comes clean. Boooooo.

So, I am talking about this, at dinner, and Brian says, "It's the apocalypse. Give her a break." Needing to argue for whatever reason and because in 16 years I've never asked, I ask, "Well how long would YOU wait until after I died to either meet someone else, or you know...do the deed? Never mind the apocalypse. How long?"

He says, "It would depend."

WHAT????? Stop the press. I'm pissed already. But, instead of ending it there, I say, "Well, I'd be willing to give you, oh, you know, 90 days to grieve."

He then says, "Each person grieves differently. I don't know how long it would take, but you're being ridiculous on giving a set time."

I left the table. lol

This is how I heard it. "I don't love you enough to know for certain that I would grieve for a long time."

This is what I was hoping he would say, "It would take a very long time to stop grieving for you. I don't know how long, but just the idea of you dying makes a tear come to my eye. I wouldn't even THINK of dating anyone else. For quite awhile."

Women. Why do we ask these questions that really, there is no right answer? Hence...loaded question. I wouldn't want him to grieve forever. I would want him to find someone else...eventually. I just wanted to know that the loss of me would be devastating. He didn't answer it wrong. I heard it wrong.

After being extremely pissed all that night and then most of the day (Brian had the Friday off) we finally talk about it again and said the "right" things.

Don't ask questions that you aren't sure how they are going to answer.

Here's a list:

What really happened at your bachelor party?
Do you think I need to lose a little weight?
Am I turning out like my mom?

Please feel free to add more. :P

Stay-at-home moms: RETHINK!

2011-01-13T09:40:00.003-07:00

http://www.salon.com/life/pinched/2011/01/05/wish_i_hadnt_opted_out

We had wonderful times together, my sons and I. The parks. The beaches. The swing set moments when I would realize, watching the boys swoop back and forth, that someday these afternoons would seem to have rushed past in nanoseconds, and I would pause, mid-push, to savor the experience while it lasted.

Now I lie awake at 3 a.m., terrified that as a result I am permanently financially screwed.

As of my divorce last year, I'm the single mother of two almost-men whose taste for playgrounds has been replaced by one for high-end consumer products and who will be, in a few more nanoseconds, ready for college. My income -- freelance writing, child support, a couple of menial part-time jobs -- doesn't cover my current expenses, let alone my retirement or the kids' tuition. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of two teenagers must be in want of a steady paycheck and employer-sponsored health insurance.

My attempt to find work could hardly be more ill-timed, with unemployment near 10 percent, with the newspaper industry that once employed me seemingly going the way of blacksmithing. And though I have tried to scrub age-revealing details from my résumé, let's just say my work history is long enough to be a liability, making me simultaneously overqualified and underqualified.

But my biggest handicap may be my history of spending daylight hours in the company of my own kids.

(Read the rest in the url)

Interesting read. It made my blood boil in parts but she made good points in others.

Here's what I have to say about it.

First off, the most noticeable. We are in a recession. She isn't the only one who has been having a hard time getting a job. Is it because she stayed at home for 14 years, or because she's a freelance writer trying to get a job...during a RECESSION. We won't know because there are too many other factors going on.

I do know that when I applied for a job 4 almost 5 years ago, that I was hired the same day, with no Nursery experience but with a love for plants and a knowledge to back it up. I know that I had been a stay at home mom for 6 years prior. I know that the company I work for now would have more people to choose from and could be pickier, and I know there's a chance I wouldn't have gotten the job now if they were hiring. Does it have to do with my being a stay at home mom? Absolutely not.

I do know that telling people to continue to work part time is a good idea, IMO. Whether it be from home, or a few hours a week, allow something on your resume if you decide to go back to work. Although stay at home moms work their butt off, it's still good to be in the work field.

The idea that the NEED for stay at home moms is not there anymore and that more are choosing NOT to stay at home...could this ALSO be because of the economy? Just because the numbers are down doesn't mean the want isn't there to stay at home, it could mean that people can't afford to live without two people working.

She talks about how she is divorced and has nothing and that there is no money for her kids school. This is about planning, or in her case, the lack thereof. No one plans to get divorced, and I am not naive in thinking that "it will never happen to me" (if you divorce me, love, I am kicking your ass) but I am also of the opinion that if you have marital struggles, you do something about it. You go to counseling, you make time for each other, you communicate and you are a good spouse. I don't know what happened between her and her husband, but I am not an advocate of divorce. I am also not a fan of marrying an asshat who doesn't help support her kids. Being a single parent is hard, regardless if you had been a stay-at-home mom or not. Plan, that's all I am saying. If it's not divorce, it's the possibility of your spouse losing his/her job, or worse...dying.

The thing that upsets me the most is the way it seems she is blaming her kids and raising them on her troubles right now. I would hate for her kids to read this, and see the guilt that they feel that mom isn't feeling like a winner right now...and hey, she thinks it's THEIR fault. Awesome. Being a parent (stay-at-home or not) is about sacrifices. You don't get to go out as often, you don't get to buy the newest and greatest car, your friends might slowly start dwindling because they DON'T GET IT. It happens. To me, it's worth it. Everything is WORTH it. I am a parent and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Here's the deal: I believe that kids can be perfectly fine growing up in day care. I do. I just choose to raise my kids the way I want to. I choose NOT to have someone else raise them. I choose to live a life a little differently than others who choose to work. I never judge anyone who makes the choice to work over the choice to stay at home. I figure we, as moms, need to stick together and support each other because either way, being a mom is HARD. No matter how you slice it.

Also, whoever came up with the term "opted out" when it comes to stay-at-home-moms...screw you.

What do you think?

16 years

2011-01-07T10:14:00.002-07:00

Wow.

How did time pass so quickly?

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Dry Winter

2011-01-06T14:28:00.001-07:00

Your hands are dry. Hair has static. Can't touch anything in your house without getting zapped. You must live in Colorado in the winter!

So, you put lotion on for your dry body, conditioner on your hair, and...still get zapped by everything you touch in your house. If you are taking care of your dryness, have you stopped to think about your plants and trees needing the same treatment?

I put this out every year, but have to say it again. Water during the winter! We have had such a dry season, and although there is finally snow on the ground, I hope you had watered during September -January, because boy, did those plants need it! If you didn't, no time to start like the present. If we have a dry winter, I always suggest for people to take 5 gallon buckets and drill a small hole in the bottom. Then place the bucket at the base of the tree or near the base. Fill with water. The water will slowly seep into the ground, ensuring you that the tree is getting at least five gallons of water. For the larger trees, I put two buckets down. If it is really dry and the weather highs have been above normal, I will water twice a month. If we had some moisture, then just once. If we have a very wet winter, I do not water at all. If the ground is frozen, I wait until we have a few days of warmer weather before attempting to water at all. I currently have 14 trees and 4 buckets that I distributed around the yard.

This has saved landscapes. While your neighborhood's trees are dead all around you, yours will be lush and healthy in the spring! I also water my shrubs and perennials with a hose.

Moving on to other things

2011-01-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

The boys start back at school today. Brian always jokes around that there is a collective celebration from mom's everywhere after vacation. i am not rejoicing, we had a good vacation, but I can say I am looking forward to not having to figure out lunches. Can you believe it? That's my only gripe! Rarely do the boys want the same thing (unless it is fast food) so it is always a chore to pick it out. Plus, with it being so cold outside, they haven't had a lot of activity. Just those damn computer and PS 3 games. We did play Bop It for hours, but that isn't physical.

Today I will be heading out to Costco with a friend as I have to buy a years supply of Zyrtec for Riordan. We went to get his allergy testing and found out he is allergic to tumbleweeds, grasses, molds, dogs and cats. There are some other things that showed up as 1's and 2's, which she said could produce higher allergies later. I am hoping he just grows out of the asthma from his allergies!

I am starting to look at the pros and cons of bamboo flooring again. We have hesitated getting new flooring because we know eventually we will be remodeling our kitchen, and I want to find a flooring that we can match up with the kitchen later. Or add to if we do any major remodeling. Our biggest con is the way it scratches, and with a dog that has long claws (even after they are trimmed, she has a long quick), I fear that my OCD will go into overdrive with any type of scratch! I just know the carpet has got to go downstairs. It's interesting to read up on bamboo. I know it's environmentally friendly, as the bamboo grows so quickly, but I didn't know about the dangers of formaldehyde from some manufacturers, or about the labor in China can be seriously WRONG. So, I get to ask about that when looking at different manufacturers. I also know I don't like the bleached bamboo look, but the stained look. Other than that, we are starting from scratch. Brian wants to install it (one of the easiest to install) but I am looking at how much it would cost to have someone install it for us, just as a backup.

Other than that, the only other big project we will do this spring is putting our patio in. FINALLY. So, I am also trying to get quotes on that project, too.

Off to wake up the boys! Here's hoping they don't protest too much!

Another one bites the dust! Goodbye 2010!

2011-01-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year! The New Year doesn't mean much as I don't make resolutions, don't stay up until midnight, and don't drink on New Years Eve. However, it's the start of new seasons, new beginnings in other areas, so I say again...Happy New Year!

Today my two younger children had school for two hours for assessment testing and then they are off again tomorrow. They already had two weeks off previously! How do working parents manage? I am not sure, but it probably involves working something out with day care. How do they get them to school and back with the day care? More than I would want to deal with! It was nice to have a nice breather, whatever reason. Ran around and did errands like a mad woman with the two hours I had, as the oldest IS back in school.

Christmas, Riordan's Birthday and New Years went well. We had a lovely dinner at our house with my parents for Christmas. Dad had made some videos that included Riordan as a baby, along with some other festivities. Video captures so much more! A lot of fun for all of us to watch. Mom tricked me and put a heavy brick along with my present, so we had a good laugh over that. (I had asked for a giftcard) ha! This year was especially special because the boys really put in some thought about what to get me this year. It brought tears to my eyes!

For Christmas Eve we went to our old church. It's the first time I have been in the church where I didn't feel anger. Lovely service and I was glad we went. Not sure if I'm ready to go back there continuously, but I would listen to another sermon by the new pastor.

Although I didn't make any resolutions, I did tell myself I would write more in this blog rather than my private one. I am writing almost daily there, but just needed a break from making sure what I wrote was fitting for others eyes. It was nice just to WRITE. Anyway, I hope to be writing here more often.

In a few days Brian and I will be celebrating our 16th Anniversary. 16 years. Wow. I even have a hard time imagining so much time has passed. We sit in bed and recall things from the earlier years and when we were dating and although look back fondly...we are so glad we are where we are today.

Here's wishing you a prosperous New Year. I pray for better news daily, my mom's continued good health, the job market to get better, the boys to stay healthy and for my hubby and I to make it to another year. ;)

Where is my place of zen?

2010-12-21T18:07:00.000-07:00

I am going batshit crazy over here! Birthday tomorrow, Christmas on Saturday ....I need a Xanax!

Life...it will get you everytime!

Highs and Lows

2010-12-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

Today was a very hard day. I went to my friends funeral which they call a "Celebration of Life", but it was hard nonetheless. The saying goodbye ...missing someone. Doing too little, too late. I knew the end was near but stayed away because it was too close to home. I felt guilty because my mom is doing well, and she wasn't. Same cancer, same stage. What else is there left to say? So, with the guilt and the sadness, I said goodbye to a lovely woman that motivated me, inspired me, and made me wonder the beauty of life and absolute unfairness of it all. Why not a miracle? It's interesting because that was brought up at the funeral. How she never gave up and how the fact that we knew her and her struggle ...and her amazing relationship with God...she WAS a miracle. It was a lovely service. I am glad I went.

After the service I went to the school and brought Birthday treats for Riordan for an early Birthday celebration. Since his birthday's during Winter Break, we have to celebrate early. He LOVED it. He is such a mini me. Extreme high. I am so grateful to be be able to attend these fun parties for my son's! It made his day and I love helping him have a great day!

Later this week we have the Holiday Bazaar and the Christmas Party to prepare for. So much to do but so much fun to celebrate! So, long story short, I am exhausted. Wish I could sleep for a day.

Christmas is....

2010-12-12T16:17:00.003-07:00

As another Christmas approaches, I get to contemplate. I have been so busy with the boys school activities, donating my time, redoing my family room (whoever says staying at home is boring obviously isn't doing it right...ha!) that I have to MAKE myself stop and reflect on the little things so I still appreciate Christmas. We get so wrapped up in Holiday parties and shopping that I feel we really need to stop, take a breath, and just enjoy each other. Last night we all got bundled up and went to our town's Festival of Lights. Expecting the older two to throw a fit, I was holding my breath, waiting for the outcries that they were too old. Nothing came. Not even a single complaint about dressing warmly! We all shuffled in the car, parked and then walked to the main street. Watched the street fill with people...huddled together for warmth. As we watched the floats go by, people would yell, "Merry Christmas!" and we would yell it back. I watched the boys have fun being kids. I appreciate that this might be our last year playing Santa, so we are revelling in the magic. I have the Christmas story brought out, just getting ready to read. Brian took Daegan out shopping today and Daegan came home with a huge smile on his face. Not only did he get to spend time with dad, but he got to get "really cool things for the family". He loves the picking out, and loves the anticipation of his brothers opening their gifts. Too much fun! As the boys get older, I tell them...

Christmas
is
enjoying each other
being thankful we are all together
counting our blessings
caring more about other's happiness over our own
sharing love
sharing Christ
loving one another
giving to those in need
swallowing pride
forgiving
remembering...

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

2010-09-01T06:09:00.000-06:00

We have a teenager. That explains so much to so many. I am at this point where I wonder if I change tactics or keep on keepin on. I value the idea to allow him to speak his mind, but at what point does it become disrespectful to the parent? Same attitude, everyday. I love him with every ounce of my being. He is a joy to me in so many ways. Is it wrong for me to want to ship him off until he's 22? How to instill the idea to do for others because it makes them happy? Is this where someone points out that he is a teenager and the world revolves around him? Do I just accept that and wait until this stage is over?

I love it that he has the mentality that "they will like me for who I am or it's their loss". I love it that he has his own taste in music, his own career path, his own WAY. If he could just give with a happy heart. Is that a parenting failure or something that just IS? I tell my friends to not compare their children. Each one has their own personality. I have a people pleaser who wants to make others happy, a headstrong who says stay outta my way and a lover who is happy when others are happy. Trying to figure out discipline styles for each one while establishing and nurturing their love language is so hard!

I see all around me couples having babies and the only advice I have to them is to be consistent and love them deeply. This is the easy part. ;)

choices

2010-08-21T14:21:00.001-06:00

Lately, i have been rethinking staying at home. When initially making the decision, a lot of things were weighed. less money to do fun things. it would take longer to remodel our home. the house we buy would be smaller so we lived within our means.
i go back and forth because lately, the boys are wanting more and more. a new room they don't have to share. a laptop. things that cost money. we can no longer please them with a package of hot wheel cars.

it always comes down to material things.

i made a choice to be home for my kids. so if they call me from school because they are sick, i can be there in two minutes. if they had a rough day, i am there for them to talk to about it.

is it more important for me to be here when they need me? to have seen every tear, every first milestone, everything??? for me, yes. i wouldn't have changed anything. we all make choices about what is best for our families. mine is to continue to be home. I don't want to miss a thing.

The month of March and all that comes with it.

2010-03-18T06:26:00.000-06:00

I have started working again! Yay! My body says, "Booo!" Feeling the burn in every inch of my body, but that is normal. It's interesting how before I would hate the feeling, and this time I know it's because I am working out my muscles, getting my body in shape. I just might be ready for time at the gym.

This past week I have been moving shrubs out of the protective hoop houses and out into our display area. I love working on this project because there is order and consistency while working with my coworker Lisa. Yesterday we received our perennial plugs to start in containers. I get to see each and every perennial that comes in and salivate over all of the types. Davey did a GREAT job at picking out perennials this year. Lots of color variations. Also different types for dry areas and wet. I gave him a hard time because this year, instead of going crazy with buying perennials, the plan was to save money for hardwood floors. Not nearly as much fun, but something that needs to be done! In the meantime, I am seeing beautiful roses and perennials that make my fingers itch to plant! We also have a great selection of seeds for the garden, including a lot of heirloom varieties. I plan on starting some plants when I return from the mountains.

This weekend the family is traveling to Silverthorne, CO for our best friend's wedding. Our friend Gus and his fiance Stacey (whom I LOVE) will be tying the knot. We have a winter storm coming in, so we're trying to figure out travel arrangements getting up there. The plan was to leave the boys at home (they have school on Friday) and then have my parents pick them up on their way up on Saturday. My aunt happens to be coming in from Kansas City on Friday, so she was planning on staying at our house Friday night with the boys. I still have no idea if this will work, so I am biting my nails as I wait for the outcome. Due to the weather, my aunt could be late (which would mean the boys would be on their own, which I don't like), and my mom and dad might not come to the wedding at all. The boys HAVE to be there, so Brian is talking of driving back down on Saturday to get them, and then coming back up for the wedding!! Yikes!! The major part of the storm is on Friday, right when we're driving up there. This could make for an exciting weekend!

Today the plan is getting pedicures with Stacey and then watching Riordan in his "Barnyard Moosical" at the school. He has been singing the songs for months now and is so excited for tonight!! I am hoping to take some video clips to share on my blog. Brian will be attending Gus' bachelor party, so who knows when I will see him again....;)

As for my health update...all in all I am better. I still cannot eat anything fried (which isn't much of a loss) and also extremely spicy foods cause me pain. However, I am able to eat everything else without problems. I am hoping that my doctor's idea of a supplement will help me digest foods easier, so my life gets back on track. Seeing the chiropractor has completely gotten rid of the tingling and numbness in my hands and feet, and I now am on a every two week schedule to see him (although I made an appointment for today because I need to be readjusted after starting work...ha!) I would like to ask the doctor how I can have pain exactly where my gallbladder USED to be, when it's not there anymore. It's weird.

After the wedding is done, I am looking forward to my birthday (okay, celebrating it, not the actual number going up) and then it's Daegan's birthday. Lots of things to look forward to in the upcoming months!!!

Getting to listen to Lauren :)

2010-02-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of listening to Lauren Springer Ogden and her husband Scott Ogden speak at the Pro Green expo yesterday. One of the things that I appreciate most about these two is the fact that they actually use PLANTS in their landscape. Too often we are seeing a huge splurge on "outdoor living spaces" that include hardscapes without plants to soften the area up. Now, I love some of the outdoor living spaces, and most people that know me know that I cannot wait to build our deck out in the back to be able to spend more time outdoors. But to me, what is the point of having an outdoor space if there is nothing to look at?

Lauren and Scott (look at me, I'm using their first names!) have what I believe is a half acre in Fort Collins, Co. When showing their slides, it looked over three acres because they have so many plants. Their use of texture, color, new plants and old inspires me to keep doing what I am doing in my own yard, along with offering the advice to my friends to do the same. Now, there isn't an ounce of grass (besides ornamentals) that I saw in their back yard. Not everyone is willing to forgo grass. However, they had plenty of gathering spaces within their yard to enjoy the sites.

Their key points were:

Putting plants first.
I explained a little about that above. If you're going to provide an outdoor living space, provide the plants to go with it. They said, "plants are partners in the design rather than subordinate to it".

Gardening where you are
Plant plants that work where you are putting them! Hot, dry areas...plant plants that will make it! There is nothing more frustrating than to keep planting every year because you like a plant there, but it's not the right place for that particular plant. If in doubt, ask! It's amazing how adaptable plants are here in CO, but they aren't superhuman. Find the plants right for the area.

Meeting climate challenges
Plant NATIVE. We all like to try new things as gardeners, and it gives us a cheap thrill. To have a successful garden, plant native plants that thrive with each other. If you have a large budget, plant those new plants. Otherwise, stick to the ones that have been around forever!

Celebrating sensuality
Plant a lot of one plant here and there. Celebrate the light that we naturally get in Colorado in those late summers. Have the plants play off of each other. Find plants that have , and plant them in a place that you can smell it! Since we have cooler summers, find those plants that really show off their stuff in the late afternoons and evenings. You will be rewarded!

Connecting with Oneself and others
Provide invitations in your garden. Have a bench far off to invite people to go through the gardens. Plant a large bush that people have to go beyond to see what's further in.

Provide plants that wildlife want to come to! Bees, hummingbirds, butterflies, other birds. This is a sanctuary for not only you, but for those that are living around you.

All in all, the shop was nothing that I hadn't heard before (I have read all of their books), but it enforces what I believe in as a designer. Plant what works, use the spaces you have wisely, and don't just plant for yourself!

Where to start?

2010-02-11T17:26:00.000-07:00

I will start with some awesome news, because I always love writing about positive things. My niece was born! Adilynne Laurel Hunter was born on January 19. She is beautiful, healthy, and quite the eater! I have had the opportunity to spend tons of time with her, and she already has me wrapped around her little finger. She has the screwing up the face in a pout before she starts crying, and I am seriously feeling for her parents. Who can resist a face like that?? I am enjoying being an aunt (again), and love having babies to hold without being the actual parent! I even can be counted on being the diaper changer to give the parents a break! :)

I am still recovering from my surgery. All in all it was a pretty simple procedure. I only have on owie that is healing (which is my bellybutton) because I was a candidate to do that type of laproscopic surgery. I feel like I have this little owie and a HUGE stomach due to the fact that everything is still swollen. The worse part of the actual aftermath of surgery was the gas pains that happen since they blow up your stomach with gas to get to all of your parts. NOT something I would want to go through again. I am healing. Slowly. Trying to take it easy because I still am getting tired by 2:00 p.m. I've had some problems with digesting things still, which really pisses me off, but I am hoping that will get better.

The new problem is, I have been having problems with pains in my legs, along with numbness and tingling. I have been told time and time again that this has NOTHING to do with the surgery (which I finally believe) but am impatiently waiting to figure out what is going on with me. I have started seeing a new chiropractor (whom I just love) and he is trying to figure it all out. With the numbness is the fear that I might have Multiple Sclerosis and so I am having an MRI next month just to rule that out. I am not too concerned about that. but still would like to have the test since my mom was diagnosed about this time in her life. After seeing the chiro, I am seeing some changes (baby steps!) and am hoping I am on the road to recovery.

I would like to feel normal again. I would like to feel 34 rather than 70. I cannot wait for the day that I wake up and don't have to take a pain reliever! Ha!

I am attending the Pro Green Expo which gets me so excited to start back up at Picadilly. We actually have a booth this year, and it's been fun hanging out with the crew again. I have been a little disappointed in the classes this year, but I am a firm believer that if you gain ONE ounce of knowledge per day, it's a good day. I have picked up some new things, and I am grateful for the opportunity that working at Picadilly gives me. Tomorrow I get to hear Lauren Springer and her husband Scott do a lecture on Plant Driven Design. I am so excited to hear what they have to say. I hold both of them with the highest regard! Both as designers and with their overwhelming knowledge they have of plants that work in Colorado. Needless to say, I am way excited!

Other than these things, my life has been dull. As I said, I'm taking it easy which is extremely hard for me. I am usually running around the house with a million things to do, and I've been catching up on reading and movies the past couple of weeks. It's a hard life. ;)

200th post

2010-01-15T13:51:00.002-07:00

Yay!

Surgery scheduled for the 26th of this month. This makes me happy.

Decision

2010-01-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

I met with the surgeon yesterday after finding out I indeed have gallstones. However, the surgeon called it sludge which I am guessing is a lot of small gallstones. After weighing my options, I have decided to have the surgery. I'm a little wary of the people who have said that they still have pain even after the surgery, but I'm hoping that they were a little further gone than I am. I just know that I can't eat like this anymore. It brings me to tears. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous, but I can't live off of salads. My weight is dropping off like crazy, and I didn't have a lot of weight to lose. I am not happy with this, and all I can do is hope that the surgery works. I'm hoping the "surgery scheduler" will be calling me very, very soon, because I know I will have to wait a bit for the surgery anyways. I just want all of this to be over. The pain is horrendous, and I'm eating RIGHT. Everything seems to be giving me pain now.

For those that travel from blotanical

2010-01-10T19:41:00.002-07:00

I feel like I'm a bit of a liar as you visit my site. I am a HUGE gardener, love everything about it, work at a nursery and during the spring through fall months, my blog is pretty much ALL about gardening. However, I also live in Colorado where there is not a lot going on in my gardens (read...nothing) the months of November through March, so I tend to talk about my family, other things happening in my life, friends and just about nothing. If you are visiting, please look under the topics, and you might find what you're looking for. I have tried to get better and label them appropriately, but am a busy mother of three and haven't had time to finish all of them. Welcome to this webpage! Come back and visit in March! :)

Vegan?

2010-01-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

I ended up calling another doctor's office and got in earlier the same day I had the other appointment at the other doctor's office. I really wanted to say a big "screw you!!" to the previous doctor's office, but will instead be a bigger person and just ask for my records. The new doctor's office has a wonderful staff, wonderful doctor. Immediately had blood work done (which came back fine) and am scheduled to go in for an ultrasound Monday morning. He is thinking it's gallstones. Now, of all the things it could be, that isn't the worst, but because of what causes the PAIN from gallstones, I am now a vegan. Ugh. No animal products. I tasted soy milk for the first time this morning. Tried to get past the yellowish color that it was. Not bad, but it's not milk.

The boys and Brian are ready for me to be able to eat normally. When there is only two of you, you can pretty much cook for yourself and then for the other, but when there's more than just two, that's a lot of extra work to do, so the boys have been eating what I am able to eat. Brian and Daegan went to the store and bought makings for a fantastic salad (day 3 of eating salads for lunch and/or dinner). He also bought the soy milk, no cholesterol butter and other things that made him feel really, really old. Ha! I appreciate his trying to make me feel better, I really do. It might kill me right now to see them eating a pizza at this time. Or hot wings, which is something Corrin is asking for daily. My kids are traitors. ;)

Truthfully, this whole thing has made me rethink what I have been eating. I believe the bloodwork would have shown high cholesterol if I had it, but we still eat lots of meat and dairy, and should be eating more salads that consist more than a couple of vegetables. We eat canned and frozen veggies as sides, but rarely eat fresh ones (unless it's the summer, we eat alot of fresh things then). I don't think we eat UNhealthy, we could just eat healthier.

I do miss cheese. A lot. And a cheeseburger sounds delightful right now. I will continue to eat this way until I figure out what exactly is going on because the pain has almost stopped. I just have the occasional sharp pains in my abdominal area. Even after the ultrasound, there is the chance that 1) I DO have gallstones and they are small, which means they can give me a medicine to help shrink them and I continue to eat the way I am for awhile 2) I have large gallstones and damage to my gallbladder which means I have to have surgery, and have to continue to eat the way I am until surgery or 3) it's NOT gallstones and we have more tests to do and I continue to eat the way that I am eating until we figure out what the problem is.

Yeah, I'm a bit pissy.

Switcheroo

2010-01-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

With the current temps at -4 and the high of only 9, I have to try to reschedule my doctor's appt. The boys can't walk home in this weather. The more I think about how upset I was the day I called to make an appointment, the more I realize I have put up with that doctor's office long enough. If I can't get into another doctor today, I will plead with the current office to fit me in somewhere else. It is such a pain to switch doctors, but since I really got on my mom's case a few years ago to switch, I should follow my own advice. I PAY them to take care of me. I expect better service from them and I shouldn't have to put up with the long times on hold, the longer times waiting in the waiting room, and then the rude behavior from the front office and nurses. Time to switch!

Today was better

2010-01-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

The doctor's office was not able to see me until Thursday at 3:00 p.m. The woman that I talked to on the phone suggested that I go to the ER. Um...no. What could they do for me? Hydrate me with an IV and then I'd sit there for 5 hours! I decided to call other doctors within the area, but none could see me, so I am eating light meals that are bland and hoping for the best until Thursday. I am feeling better with eating like that, so I'll be able to tell the doctor that. Not sure if it's gallstones, an ulcer or a weird stomach flu, but I have to function. I did get to the store today which was a HUGE feat! Got food for the boys and Brian and got me some things that I could eat during the day and evening. I know it's better because steak sounded good. I can't eat it, but it sounded yummy. I just want to get better before Friday because that is when Brian and I are celebrating our 15 Anniversary!

I ate a bowl of rice and was full half way through. Not good. However, I've also had a banana, some yogurt and lots of liquid during the day. I was also able to take a nap which is why I'm still awake now, so that helped a lot!

Keep praying, guys. I've loved the phone calls and appreciate the well wishes. I have to say, I won't be able to eat like this forever, so I hope they find out what is wrong! I enjoy the flavor of food too much!!

2010-01-05T06:09:00.001-07:00

Last night was bad. Serious pain in my stomach. Stomach gurgling. Up from 3 am on. Would try to lie on my side and it was worse, especially my right side. Nausea doesn't make me worried. Sharp pains do. Skipping coffee completely this morning, scared what it will do to me!

Sick

2010-01-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

Since Dec. 26 I have had problems with nausea, feeling light headed, lack of appetite. After putting up with it for a couple of days, it seemed to go away. I then had diarreah (I know, TMI) for several days, but the nausea seemed to go away. Daegan then had diarreah, so I thought I had some sort of bug that was passed on. I wake up feeling nauseous, then it seems to go away for a little bit and then comes back. I have no idea what is going on, but when I did research about how long stomach flu lasts, it said it could last up to 10 days, so I've held off going to the doctor. I'm on day 10, and am making myself eat because I need to, but nothing sounds good. The thought of food makes me ill. I have not thrown up during this entire ordeal. I sometimes have just a rumbling stomach, sometimes pain in my right side like a stitch, sometimes have heartburn. Sometimes sharp pain in my abdominal region. Multiple symptoms that aren't happening every day. It is impossible to diagnose over the internet because all of these symptoms could be several things. Today I had fried chicken for lunch, took a nap and woke up feeling terrible. I will try to stay away from greasy foods for the time being. I've been drinking small amounts of coffee in the morning, but have completely taken caffeine out of my diet the rest of the day.

I really do NOT believe that I am pregnant since the symptoms started two days after my last period. After being pregnant three times, you realize that you miss your period and THEN the nausea starts happening. It is a slight fear, because we really are done, but I've wasted a lot of money on pregnancy tests and I really believe it is something else.

Tomorrow I hope to get in to the doctor, but after reading several posts on forums, it doesn't look like they'll be able to help right away. In the meantime, I can't make myself go to the store to stock up on food (stomach roll), and I'm so tired! Things aren't getting done around the house which makes me feel guilty. Brian showed signs of being annoyed this evening, which I GET, because when he was really sick awhile ago, I got annoyed, too. Mostly because we feel helpless that we can't make it better, plus it's just annoying having to deal with someone that is sick constantly. I get that. If I could feel better right now I would!

I have no idea what to do. I'm hoping the doctor will have a suggestion.

Confrontation

2010-01-03T18:24:00.002-07:00

I am wondering, is there a point where you are TOO truthful? I am proud of the fact that I am truthful, but I wonder if I am too truthful. I sometimes say things that might seem hurtful when I don't mean them to be, but I am under the impression that I would much rather hear the truth than guess. I also know that when someone tells me that I either pissed them off, or hurt them, or anything at all, that it helps THEM when they unload and talk of the hurt that they feel. I love these people enough that I will take their hurt, take the criticism, take their pain, and make them feel better by unloading their burdens.

I know that within my group of friends that I am known for saying it the way it is, but I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I try to be tactful. The joke was that I can say "no" when I don't want to do something when other people have problems saying that. That they never have to guess where I am coming from because I tell them. I am in the process of trying to teach a friend how to be more vocal. Her feelings are there, but she's not sure how to be confrontational about things.

I'm to the age where I don't need games. I don't need to mince words. I want strong relationships that can endure the truth. I believe I have surrounded myself with people that not only appreciate that, but can stand it. I am a very lucky person indeed.

God. I'm such a hypocrite. Here I'm being vague with what I'm talking about for fear of hurting someone else as I write this. Guess I'm not that honest after all.

Christmas at the Lollar's

2009-12-23T09:15:00.001-07:00

I was lax in getting a lot of pics this year. Too busy hosting, I guess. We were glad that mom, dad and Uncle Jim could come over, along with Stacey and Gus. Brian made an excellent prime rib, along with champ potatoes, a salad, green beans and rolls. We were even lucky enough to have leftovers!
We then opened gifts. It was a lovely day!

Tessa at her happiest, when someone is giving her full attention...

We're so glad Uncle Jim is in town!

The boys, looking so happy that I was taking pictures.

I wanted to show everyone how great mom looks!

Stacey looking just beautiful!

The recently engaged couple! Gus and Stacey

Riordan being attacked by bows...

Finally! A decent pic of Corrin! Yeah, he's huge.

Spiders

2009-12-22T15:01:00.001-07:00

The last couple of nights I have been dreaming of spiders. In both dreams, I see the huge spider, but can't seem to move. In both dreams, the spider follows my movements.

I can't remember all of my first dream, but I remember last nights. I lifted up my piano key protector, and underneath there was what I thought were just dirty cobwebs. As I started to play the piano, I realized the cobwebs were following my movement as I played. At closer inspection, I noticed it was a HUGE spiderweb with a even bigger spider within. I kept playing, with a certain fascination that the spider would follow my movements. I was scared to death, but I couldn't remove the spider, and I couldn't do much but keep playing. In both dreams, I never killed the spider. In the first dream, I remember the spider jumping, but I don't remember much more than that.

I went to a dream interpretation site and found this:

Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders, is the most common phobia among American people. Many of us find these hairy, eight-legged creatures very creepy. There is no doubt that a dream about spiders may simply be your subconscious expressing that prevalent fear.

However, the image of a spider goes much deeper than just a creepy-crawly to fear. Spiders have many associations that may be symbolically represented in your dream by the appearance of a spider.

SPIDERS AS TRICKSTERS: If you have ever read any African fables, you may have noticed that the spider is a devious, tricky creature. Even in modern western society we associate spiders with trickery (come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly). This is most likely because spiders lure and ensnare their prey. If you are dreaming about spiders, there is a possibility that your dream is warning you that you may be tangled up in a web of deceit. Take a good look at those around you, especially those in whom you have put your trust.

SPIDERS AS WEAVERS: Another association of spiders comes from their ability to weave beautiful and intricate webs. There is an old Greek myth about a woman named Arachne who was an incredibly gifted artist and weaver. She was also insolent and rude, claiming that her abilities were greater than those of Athena, the patron Goddess of weaving. After challenging Athena to a contest, Arachne felt so bad for her disrespect to the Goddess that she hanged herself. Athena took pity on Arachne and brought her back to life as a spider, so that she could hang forever weaving her beautiful creations, as well as all of her ancestors. If you are dreaming of a spider web, it may indicate that you are ignoring your creative impulses. If you dream of a spider weaving a web, it could mean that inspiration is right in front of you. Either way, the dream is urging you not to resist or ignore your artistic impulses. Even if you do not consider yourself an artistic person, your psyche is encouraging you to explore and unleash your creativity in some way.

SPIDERS AS FEMALE ENERGY: When considering the symbolic meanings of spiders, one cannot overlook the image of the black widow, luring in the male to mate, and then viciously killing and cannibalizing him in order to nourish herself when her eggs have been fertilized. In this way, spiders represent the feminine energies within us. These energies are both the destructive and constructive, as seen in the cycle of death and birth. If dreaming about a black widow spider, or of a spider that kills its mate, your dreams may be telling you that you are experiencing a major transformation in your life.

SPIDERS AS CREATURES OF BALANCE: Spiders hang from slender threads, and walk delicately upon their webs. But, being delicate creatures, if they fall, they can die. A dream of a spider walking a web may indicate that you must take care, for you are walking a fine line in life, or that you are in need of finding a balance. Spiders also have eight legs, which are symbolic of the ancient wheel of the year, which is divided up into the solstices and equinoxes, and the mid-points between them. A dream in which a spider’s legs are the focus may indicate that you are currently experiencing a rut or an in-between stage in life.

SPIDERS AS CREATURES OF FATE: The weaving symbolism of a spider can be extended to the Fates, the demigods in Greek mythology which weave the fate of our lives. This can indicate a connection between the past and the future. It may also be telling you that you are the master of your own destiny, and should take charge in weaving the future you desire.

I'm not really sure which part my dream falls under, but I find it fascinating. I could guess, with some things going on my life, which one it is.

Happy Birthday, Riordan!

2009-12-22T07:35:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it's been seven years. I love you, honey!

Just another day?

2009-12-18T07:02:00.001-07:00

Every year I have the countdown to listen to. It's glorious in it's own way. "20 days 'til my birthday, mom! 25 days 'til Christmas!" Wait...what? Riordan's birthday is the 22nd, not the 20th...

Poor kid has it in his head that we're celebrating his birthday this weekend rather on his birthday. I try so hard to celebrate it separate from Christmas so it feels like an actual birthday. Every year we have either my parents or my in-laws come over the weekend before Christmas to celebrate Christmas with them. It matters which year it is. This year it's my parents, and since they live 45 minutes away, I didn't want them to come over on both Saturday AND Sunday, so we've decided to celebrate Riordan's birthday on his actual BirthDAY. Dinner out with the family, opening gifts and then dessert. It's hard because his birthday falls within the winter break, and so without any thought beforehand, there are usually no invites that go to his friends. During the break, we have nothing to get in touch with people (have YOU tried getting phone numbers or addresses from 6-year-old's?) and so again, he's hanging with the fam. You can't make a big deal about it IN school for the fear of hurting some kid's feelings by not inviting him. (I can't invite all 24 kids to my house for a birthday party!) It's quite the issue. So, every day, the countdown until his birthday is worded with "we're celebrating my birthday on the 20th!" and me telling him that no, we're waiting until your actual birthday, dude.

We're hoping that his birthday gift, Bronco tickets, will help him get over the disappointment.

Inside

2009-12-17T07:37:00.002-07:00

My eldest is reading The God Delusion. It caught me off guard seeing it laying there by his bed. I realized then that I've got to get over whatever I'm dealing with and start going back to church. I'm not one to push my beliefs on others, but Corrin is at the age where he's thinking...a LOT...and I'd like him to hear both sides before coming to a conclusion. It makes me feel as if I've failed that his friends are doing a better job at sharing what they believe than I am.

Through this whole...ordeal (for lack of a better word), I've talked about being unsatisfied with the church rather than God. Organized religion and such. I've even made the comment that I don't think Jesus expected what has happened through the church...and not sure He'd like it. Darn people just screw it up. His message isn't that hard...why do churches make it hard?

I am praying fervently that God shows me a church that doesn't allow the members to fuck it all up.

Magic

2009-12-07T08:49:00.003-07:00

I had a wonderful weekend! I went to the cookie exchange and made a gingerbread house (which is now missing most of its candy, due to the boys) and met some new people. Thanks to Jennifer and Donna for throwing a fun party! I then went to a choir and orchestra concert yesterday and enjoyed hanging out with my family and friend as we listened to it. I love watching my mother-in-law sing...it's so very obvious she loves singing because she smiles the entire time. Loved the music...it got me in the Christmas spirit. Riordan loved watching the woman hit the big drum!

The boys and I put up the Christmas tree yesterday, too, so it was a busy day. I am so glad that last year I bought a container that keeps all of the decorations in an easy to pull out way with partitions because in years past I always had to unwrap each decoration before giving it to the boys and it took twice and long and had always ticked the boys off. This time, I just opened the container and the decorations were there to put up! Niiiiiice! No arguing, and the boys love seeing their Christmas oranaments! I've realized that I now need two trees in my house because I have so many decorations that we have gathered throughout the years. I have a fake tree that I can set up...I just have to figure out where it's going to go. It's the "pretty" tree that everything matches. ;)

Daegan has informed Brian and I that he no longer believes in Santa Claus. I asked him why, and he said that Santa's handwriting looks like ours (we've always printed out tags, so I'm not sure where that came from). I just told him that if he believes, his stockings will fill up on Christmas Eve. He told me that years past when he asked Corrin if HE believed in Santa, and Corrin said "not really" that HIS stocking was still filled. I told him that Corrin obviously didn't really mean it and that Santa knew it. It's hard to lie about things like this...but I have one more child in the house that still believes and God forbid his older brother is going to give it away! When Santa is gone, the magic of Christmas morning is gone. :( Christmas Eve and Christmas day is when we talk about Jesus...Christmas morning is all about Santa! I am bummed that Daegan knows the secret, but it lasted longer for him than for Corrin, which I am happy about.

Rushed

2009-12-03T06:34:00.004-07:00

This past week and a half has been quite the blur. I've been Christmas shopping like no other, trying to get deals to save a bit of money. I even got up at the crack of dawn (oh, who am I kidding, it was even earlier) on the day after Thanksgiving which I've never done before. As my kids get older, the prices of their wish lists get more expensive...and Brian and I try to get at least one big item for them from Santa.

I also have been hanging out with my friend Stacey who is getting married to my best friend, Gus in May. Wedding dress shopping to be precise. It's been a lot of fun, and I'm happy that she has finally found her dress that she's going to wear on the big day. I'm making 14 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange this weekend, plus getting ready for two parties NEXT weekend, along with Riordan's birthday and Christmas.

I had picked up a volunteer form for the library, but haven't had enough time to fill it out...which means I haven't had enough time to volunteer...so I guess I'll put that off for a bit.

This Christmas season has been unusual, and I believe I talked about this last year, but nothing I've been busy with has had anything to do with church or religious activities. I've missed the joyous sounds of Christian Christmas music, so I'll be attending a Brighton Choir musical on Sunday...hoping to fill me with all that is good. I don't WANT my Christmas to be all about shopping. I miss the constant reminders of why my family celebrates this Holiday in the first place. I'll do whatever I can to include that in the festivities...looking for a church to go to on Christmas Eve.

It's been incredibly cold outside here, which means you go from place to place in a hurry. I'd like to sit down and rest for a bit, but still have so much to do! Maybe if I can get it all done now, the time for rest will come later!!!

Here's wishing you all a nice, relaxing Holiday season.

I can't go back

2009-11-23T21:57:00.003-07:00

She's gone. The question of the day today was, "Are you coming back?" When asked this, I feel my body go rigid. My thoughts go to the final weeks of attending where everything is crystal clear. The putdowns, the thoughtless remarks, the absolute power that this church gave to one woman, who was said to be Godly. As people sat by, listening...literally eating up her words without a remark. That was the end for me. Yes, one problem with this church is gone. Yes, it makes me feel like I could visit this church. But come back? No. It's lost to me. When people sit by and let a preacher say things without standing up and saying that it's wrong...I can't trust these people anymore.

I am not laying guilt on just the members. I, too, sat there, feeling myself wanting to regurgitate, but not standing up. Holding the anger in as she said words that were hurtful. So it's not just anger, but my own self hating that I said nothing, too. How can I attend a church that, when I drive by, those feelings come back...every time? How could I possibly help it's healing? I can't.

I don't believe I can return to a church that is known for being "hard on it's ministers". I can't attend a church that is known for the conference to send preachers it's way as a stepping stone to something bigger and better. I cannot attend a church that is part of a conference that doesn't seem to have sane and well preachers. How can I attend a church where there are no children, no music ministry, nothing for my family? It just can't happen. So, I sit here, and try to swallow the anger and hurt again.

I know I have to do something. My mother-in-law suggested I write a letter to the district about what I think the church needs. I feel as if this was a good suggestion, but have to prayerfully consider what I would want to say. I do wish this church would get healthy. It is God's house, and it is there to serve the Lord.

I wish there was something out there...

New Moon Review...I tell it like I see it.

2009-11-22T21:37:00.005-07:00

I should preface this entire review with the thought that I wasn't a huge fan of the first movie Twilight after I saw it the first time, but thought it was better the second time around. Not sure why, maybe it was Rob's face that did it for me...but I've watched it several times since then and have enjoyed it. However, I am NOT a Twilighter in the fact that I get so dopey eyed over the looks of the characters that I don't expect more from a movie...especially with fans that dole out a shit load of money to see something good.

Several weeks before the movie, I had watched the previews and had a hopeful attitude. Werewolves looked decent, seemed to follow the storyline, etc. I told myself I was NOT going to reread New Moon because I was so disappointed with Twilight and how they left a lot of important aspects out of the movie (read...meadow scene and how it REALLY went down) so I stayed away from anything remotely having to do with New Moon. Also, my sis-in-law and I decided that we would wait until the general hype wore down a bit so we could actually watch the movie without hearing squeals of sextasy in the movie theater.

Today (finally) came and we're waiting in line, and happen to be standing by an outlandishly gay man (young boy) who was waiting to see the movie for the third time. I thought he might ejaculate in his pants just talking about the movie. Nice guy, but I could tell it might be a long night as he sits down with us as we wait and decides to give us his opinion on whether or not we should watch movies as we see the previews. I decided at this point to not be "friendly Heather" and ignore him from then on. He actually shut his mouth during the actual movie, which was good because I was ready to go Edward on his ass.

Actual movie review:

All in all (from what I can remember) the movie did a decent job in following the book. There were some things they changed, but it didn't bother me that they added in some fight scenes and took out some others scenes from the book. I've seen enough books turned into movies to expect this. The movie flowed well enough. I loved how they showed passage of time during this movie using good camera usage. The werewolves were decent. After seeing Twilight, I was wary about what the CGI was going to look like. Wasn't the best I've seen, but wasn't the worst, also. Taylor. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. I'd say out of all of the actors, he was the best in cast. Never heard of this kid before, but I thought he did a darn good job playing the role of Jacob. Move over Edward, I'm Team Jacob now.

Now onto the bad. Could Kristen and Rob please take ALLLLL of the money that they have received from these two movies and invest it in acting classes? Please? I mean, I'm going to say the director must have had blinders on. REALLY? That's the best they could do? No retakes? Kristen looked like she always does. She's got the mopey face down...and sometimes she tries to put some anger in her face. I felt NOTHING between the two characters. I don't know about you guys, but when I read New Moon when Edward left, it really, really, really hurt ME when he left because she was so hurt. I just felt...nothing while watching the movie. Edward. Hello? Constipated is all I felt from him. I don't know what I expected...but it wasn't what they showed. No tears? Nothing? Just screaming once in awhile from some bad nightmares.

So, Bella starts hanging out with Jacob, and the smiles come back...along with...chemistry! Aren't Kristen and Rob dating in real life? God, what a nightmare. If I were Rob, I'd be checking out Kristen's phone to see if Taylor is calling...

Also, makeup? Jasper? My God, people...did you not READ what fans were complaining about after the last movie? I can't wait until Jasper quits looking like he wants to upchuck. Bella, please change into a vampire so we can see the Jasper we want to see...

As I read other reviews, all I can see is OMG, Jacob took off his shirt and I was like, OMG!!!! Am I wrong to expect more from this entire saga? I know the writing wasn't the best in the entire world, but I do believe in the story. I liked how the books brought me into another world for awhile, and it was a cool world to be in. I liked how I felt young again while reading it. It's not just about seeing good looking characters, it's rooting for them, and falling in love all over again. I appreciate the fact they wanted good looking actors in these movies, but they should have searched longer. For people that could ACT.

I think I'll wait until Eclipse comes out on video. Sometime around this time next year.

Oh...the boy we sat by? He pulled an Edward move and literally hopped out of his seat and jumped over the bars and ran out of the movie theater. Most dramatic thing that happened during the entire night.

Conveying the bigger picture

2009-11-20T08:36:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was a tough one. I knew Corrin had done something and was waiting to talk to him when he got home. He admitted it (which, I have to give him credit for) but didn't see why what he did was wrong. After discussing it in length (read screaming at each other) I think he finally understood the point I was making.

Parenthood. Where you swallow your anger and try to get through the point you are trying to teach them. It's not all about us vs. them, it's about teaching them right from wrong. Teenagers have the us vs. them mentality, and I try so hard to work around that obstacle before laying down the laws of the world. Parents know nothing. They know everything. Conversations include, "Well you're thinking" or "You were going to say" or "You never listen" when really, we're just in a rush to say our point of view before listening to the other. I had to step back, take a breath, and apologize for interrupting, because he was right. I interrupted because I saw where he THOUGHT I was coming from, and I felt he was wrong. However, it's not about ME...but what he perceives, and the lesson I'm trying to teach.

One thing about Corrin and I, we scream, we yell and then it's over. There's no hard feelings (I think!!!) and we move on. He did accuse me of just wanting to get in an argument because I told him he could yell at me as long as he would TELL ME WHAT WAS ON HIS MIND!!! I told him I'm not much for yelling, but if we got to the truth of the matter, than that's what had to happen. I know a lot of people don't agree with the scream and yell method, but the outcome is what I strive for. Understanding. Agreement. Solidarity. Forgiveness. Love.

It's interesting to me, because I think everyone needs to learn how to speak their mind. You can do it plainly, and lovingly, without destroying relationships in the long run. You can tell people, "you pissed me off the other day, and I'd like to talk about it" without the world falling apart. You also can be the first to say, "I know I hurt you, and I am deeply sorry". As long as we do this for the relationship, rather than our own pride or agenda, the end result should be forgiveness.

Hourglass

2009-11-18T20:41:00.004-07:00

Card shopping has become an extremely hard thing to do when I'm buying one for my mom. I feel as if I should go shop for them around midnight so no one is around to see me bawl my eyes out. Every card I looked at made my eyes tear up, and I looked like a ninny. I picked out a card for my mom that essentially said, "what would I do without you" because it's STILL on my mind. What would my life be like without her in it?? She cried while reading it, because she wondered, as I did, if she'd make it to her next birthday. I cried while buying it, because the words rang so true.

No card ever says it all. There are no words to say how thankful I am that I have another year with her. There is no card that says everything that I feel needs to be said. I don't have the words to be able to express how deep my love is for her.

I try not to hear a clock slowly ticking time down, reminding us that our time together could be short. Instead, I try to appreciate each and every moment that we have together. Not as it would be our last, but enjoy it like it's a first. We don't know what God's plan is for mom. She has a 50% chance to survive this cancer five years. If she passes that five year mark, we're in the clear. It's amazing how struggle and pain makes you appreciate life so much more. We have an appointment for a pedicure on Tuesday (mom's first...I'm going all out) and it brings a smile to my face to think about being there as she experiences it. How could she NOT love it?

Today, it was a good day. Happy Birthday, mom.

Wet pillow

2009-11-12T05:47:00.004-07:00

Woke up crying this morning. Not sure what is up with that. I mean, I'm aware of what is going on in my life, but since I usually deal with things with anger, I was surprised to find tears. It made me think about why I'm reacting the way I am.

Am I hurt about it all? Maybe a bit. I thought I was more relieved than anything else, but I think not knowing what the outcome is is starting to get to me. I fear a lack of closeness and I've got to get over that. It's interesting that I've always blamed one person for this entire fiasco but now see the blame also lies with someone else. I realize we weren't as close as I thought we were, and that realization is what hurts. I rethink what I've said, what I've done and try to find ways to blame myself because it just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

It's funny how hurt brings out the worst in all of us.

I get tired of faking it. I really do. I sometimes just want to unplug the phone so I don't have to act.

Not my cup of tea

2009-11-11T12:32:00.004-07:00

Lately, as Brian has had to work longer hours, I have tried to help out by cooking meals at least two times a week. I know this doesn't seem much to most women out there, but it's a lot to me. I cannot stand cooking. I can't stand feeling like I'm strapped in one room with no way out for a couple of hours. I don't like the heat. I don't like the not knowing what I'm doing, and I especially don't like the idea of the lack of flavor, or something burnt having to go down my family's throat. I'm just not a cook. Thankfully my husband doesn't mind or we'd starve to death. I DO enjoy letting him rest when he comes home, however. That makes me feel accomplished.

The other day I had to cook something. It was last minute, and it actually turned out half way decent, but I was ENRAGED in the kitchen. I wasn't angry at any particular thing, just enraged that I was cooking. I beat the ever lasting shit out of everything I was preparing. Ha!

I'm going to try it again today. I'm starting early, hoping to cook in a crock pot so the feeling of being strapped in the kitchen isn't as strong. I'm hoping it turns out so there's a feeling of accomplishment rather than a strong feeling of failure. Wish me luck. (wish the meat luck, too)

Perception

2009-11-11T09:10:00.003-07:00

Sometimes, I would like to scream at the world, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!" and then realize, I don't know myself.

Changing of the seasons

2009-10-19T15:34:00.003-06:00

After enduring very cold temperatures ENTIRELY too early last week, we received a blessing of 80's yesterday and 70's today. I STILL haven't finished planting my bulbs, but am now blaming it on this cold that won't quite make up it's mind if it's going to be a full blown cold, or just make me tired and cough a lot. I'm running on empty.

I should be napping, because that's what you do when you're sick, but instead I'm sitting in the shade, listening to the light breeze move my Aspen trees. They are almost completely gold right now. The weather has been just perfect for the trees to change this year.

For some reason, I've been reflecting a lot on the past year. My mother's cancer, my best friend being in Iraq for a year, friends, Brian's job loss, other family members...a LOT has happened since this time last year. I hold my head up high with no regrets on either my actions nor my feelings. I look back and know that I have gained more appreciation for the little things, and smiles come easier to my face. I have unconsiously (or maybe consiously) removed little things out of my life that caused me greater stress than I was able to take, and have vowed to be sweeter with my words and my thoughts.

I miss my boys since they've started school. I see how separation between mother and sons is bound to happen, and nod knowingly. I think it's natural, even necessary, for the man to fall in love with a woman and leave his mother behind, but they are a part of me and never can be fully severed. I rejoice in them finding their new love, however, and will continuously praise God for whenever that should happen. I know this is early to think about, but as my young son becomes a teenager, I can feel the separation starting already. Wanting to share things with his friends rather than his parents. Again, I know this is completely normal (I wanted nothing to do with my mother and father as a teenager) but it's forshadowing what soon will come.

My husband is working a lot lately. I appreciate his job, appreciate it so much more before the Holidays. It allows us to breathe easier with health insurance and maybe a little bit of a bonus sometime next year. I appreciate how this company has made a change in my husband. He walks taller, with a broader step. He continuously is reminded how much he is needed at work and has more self confidence...something that I never was able to give him...but am so happy he is attaining it. I miss him, too.

With fall coming to an end too soon, I reflect. I administer. I love. I hope to find more of myself this upcoming year.

Using tomatoes both ripe and green

2009-10-04T09:12:00.003-06:00

A couple of nights ago we heard that we would have frost, so that night, I picked every large tomato off of my four vines. About 100 tomatoes later, I felt quite overwhelmed with what to do with them.

A little background...I grow tomatoes for my family. I, for one, can't stand them. I'm okay when they're pureed, and more into paste, or for some reason I like them in salsa (as long as they are very, very tiny). I put out a HELP!!! onto facebook on what to do with all of them. After reading several recipes and dicing up what seemed a million tomatoes, I tried making my own salsa. It was a lot of fun, and I'm pretty happy with how it all turned out. I still have the ingredients to make about 8 cups more, but will refrain for a couple of days so we can actually eat what I've already made.

Most people told me that I can ripen the tomatoes using the box method (which I haven't tried yet) or I could make Fried Green Tomatoes. I haven't decided, but am starting to worry about fruit flies and gnats invading my house as they sit there, looking so pretty and ready to eat!

Winter already?

2009-09-23T17:56:00.003-06:00

Today is the second day of fall, and it's been around 50 degrees the past few days. I feel as if we didn't even have much of a summer, and now I'm contemplating getting the long sleeve shirts out. I'm actually wearing a sweater today to stay warm. This weekend should be warmer (in the 70's) and who knows after that. All I do know is...the winter doldrums have hit me to the fullest degree. With the boys gone, I've been leaving the house more, but not getting much done. I know that the end of the month will leave me with excitement because I have all of my Halloween decor to set up.

I haven't been motivated to write. This might be the mild depression hitting with the boys gone, me working less and not knowing what will be happening next?

End of Summer Blues

2009-08-17T07:25:00.005-06:00

As I eagerly await my Solidago 'Fireworks' to bloom, it hits me that it's one of the last perennials to bloom and a quiet break hits me. Summer is almost over. Except for the asters and mums, a sunflower, too, I've got nothing to look forward to see bloom! I love fall and what it brings (Halloween, cooler weather) but my passion for gardening stills. Yes, there are bulbs to plant, things to cut down, but nothing to look forward to in my gardens. *sigh*

Emily Dickinson must have felt the same way at the end of summer:

Indian Summer

These are the days when birds come back,
A very few, a bird or two,
To take a backward look.

These are the days when skies put on
The old, old sophistries of June, -
A blue and gold mistake.

Oh, fraud that cannot cheat the bee,
Almost thy plausibility
Induces my belief,

Till ranks of seeds their witness bear,
And softly through the altered air
Hurries a timid leaf!

Oh, sacrament of summer days,
Oh, last communion in the haze,
Permit a child to join,

Thy sacred emblems to partake,
Thy consecrated bread to break,
Taste thine immortal wine!

Results

2009-08-14T06:50:00.006-06:00

I received a couple of phone calls from mom this past week but have been waiting to tell the results of her tests until we heard everything.

Mom had her CT Scan and it was clear! She had her CA125 counts come back and they had gone down to 5! This news makes us all breathe a little easier, and allows the cancer to go a little further back into our minds. Remission is such a two-edge sword. You are so happy that she's in remission, but it's not "cured" for 5 whole years. We are so grateful for the news and are trying to train ourselves to be happy with what we've got!

Mom's energy is coming back strong as she does physical therapy. Her leg pain is less, she has feeling in all of her limbs. She's hoping the "chemo brain" gets better in time because she gets very frustrated at the loss of her short term memory. All in all, an EXCELLENT report and we are very happy!

Transition

2009-08-10T05:42:00.005-06:00

It's been a very busy summer (read...AUGUST)! I haven't had much time to do anything except work, prepare for my boys going back to school and preparing and attending two baby showers for my sis-in-law. I've enjoyed every minute of it, but am welcoming some time to catch up on things around the house.

The boys start school on Thursday, and it hits me that I will have all days to myself. Someone asked me to tell her how that works out...what that FEELS like. Right now, it feels like a huge piece of what I do has been taken out of the picture. I've been a stay-at-home mom for 9 years. How do you prepare yourself for all of that extra TIME? I know I have tons of projects to do at the house. It's 30 years old and constantly needs new things, new paint, just plain updating. With the boys asthma, I've always had to put off the painting for fear it will cause their asthma to act up. With them gone, I can do some painting in the morning and then air out the house so it's clear by the time they get home. I always have my landscaping to work on. I have work to go to. It just STOPS in October...and then there's nothing...

Corrin starts at the high school this year. I'm sure he's so tired of us telling him that "this is it. It now MEANS something" but he does want to attend CU and that is all we have left to inspire him to stay active and school and get good grades. We can't hold his hand forever, and I refuse to push him when it comes to something like doing homework. The stress if huge, and he needs to learn to do it on his own.

With two nieces coming sometime in September or early October, and one other niece or nephew due the end of January, I'm sure a lot of my time with be spent with my sis-in-law's because I HAVE the time and they won't. It's so weird that my timing has always been way ahead of everyone else, and people are finally catching up. It's weird because I'm not that much older than everyone else, but I feel as if I am sometimes. I have such a feeling of disconnect when I'm talking of plans.

I'm at a different stage, and I don't know what to do with myself.

Bloomin' Tuesday!

2009-07-28T08:31:00.018-06:00

Today is Bloomin' Tuesday and I have a two part blog that I will share half this week and then half next week. I had the pleasure of visiting the Betty Ford Alpine Gardens in Vail, CO last week and I was in HEAVEN. If you haven't had a chance to go visit the mountains in the summer, please do so! The wildflowers were in abundance, the weather perfect and the gardens were divine! Here are just a few shots that I took of the Alpine Gardens. Thanks to Jean for providing a chance to share some amazing flower pics! Go to Jean's site to check out what's blooming across the world.

Next week are some shots that I took at 10,500 ft up on Vail Pass!

The return

2009-07-27T07:20:00.005-06:00

Brian and I returned from vacation on Friday, and yesterday I had major clean-up in my gardens. It looked like a jungle due to the heavy winds and rain we received the previous week! My hollyhocks were sideways, my russian sage had split down the middle and were lying flat. Time to get the twine and pray! This is the year where I had to see how everything grew together, and next spring is the year to fix everything. I know there are a lot of people that do dividing in the fall, but I've never had a lot of luck with that here in Colorado. I'm not sure if it's because I wait too long and then the roots don't have enough time to establish or what, but a lot of things die over the winter time. Color combinations and size of plants are the main obstacles right now. I planted some crazy daisies and some daylillies right by my sidewalk walkway and everything was too huge to walk through. I had no idea the crazy daisies would flop as much as they have and have to move them pronto. They flopped so much I just cut them down and didn't even get to enjoy the flowers!

Moving on to my veggie garden...I have little grape tomatoes EVERWHERE, and I have to restake all of my tomatoes because they have outgrown what I previously had. I have peppers that are very close to harvesting, and saw our first cukes and beans coming along strong. FINALLY the heat has come through and things are growing with gusto.

My backyard is missing summer color so I will be dividing like crazy and bringing new color to it next spring. It's hard to know for sure what will bloom because when you buy things new, they don't necessarily bloom the same time the first year. I have two types of hibiscus that should be blooming now but haven't yet...and my Limelight Hydrangea is about to pop. Other than some daisies, foxglove and columbine blooming, that's the only color besides green that I really have in the back.

All of my trees are doing very well. I was surprised they don't have any signs of stress from the heat. This week should be a bit cooler to give them a much needed break.

All in all, it's been a pretty successful summer in my gardens. I have one side trained to only need water once a week, which is great. If I could stop planting on the other side, I could get that down to twice a week waterings, I think. Saving water is the plan...

Vacation Part 1

2009-07-20T08:43:00.003-06:00

So far we've visited all around Vail. The first day we went to the Betty Ford Alpine Gardens which I really enjoyed. Unfortunately, the lighting was very bright so my pictures weren't as good as I hoped.

We then walked around town and went to a place called the Red Lion Inn and watched a performer named Phil Long.

I ate fish tacos and drank a lot of margaritas. The next day both Brian and I were very tired because we stayed up too late the night before and took it easy by visiting the Vail Market and bought some peaches from Palisade (oh my gosh scrumptious!!) and also a smoked turkey leg. We then headed back to the condo, took a long nap. Later in the evening the clouds started to roll in, so we went to the City Market and bought the makings for a salad. Came back, ate the salad and watched a movie together. Today we are well rested and hope to enjoy the scenery that the mountains bring. It is so beautiful here. I could see us buying a place to enjoy during the warmer months. I love the weather up here...have yet to have to use air conditioning.

Gone for a week

2009-07-16T17:43:00.001-06:00

Brian and I are taking our first ever vacation...all by ourselves. I might be checking in from time to time, but won't be posting. Expect a lot of pics when we get back...we're going to go visit the Betty Ford Alpine Gardens!!

For those sick and twisted people, don't get any ideas. We have a housesitter and a rabid dog...

H

My mom has HAIR!

2009-07-14T06:07:00.003-06:00

Saw it with my own eyes. It's beautiful.

Regis University

2009-07-13T08:19:00.016-06:00

Last Friday I had the pleasure of strolling around the Regis University Arboretum. Two coworkers and I walked around and saw over 600 varieties of trees planted. While there, I found a new respect for a lot of trees. Anything green catches my eye, but these were old trees that had developed into art. There were quite a few that made my "if I had 5 acres I'd plant this tree". Regis has several Champion Trees planted that I took pictures of. The lighting was not great for picture taking, but I did the best I could.

We get to enjoy this! I'm so very excited!

2009-07-13T08:07:00.001-06:00

9NEWS.com | Colorado's Online News Leader | Colors bursting in Colorado high country

Shared via AddThis

Corrin's 14th Birthday

2009-07-12T18:36:00.006-06:00

We kind of had a "birthday weekend" for Corrin. We first went to Joe's Crab Shack on Friday night and had an awesome dinner. I told the waiter it was Corrin's birthday, so they make a big deal about embarassing the heck out of them in front of everyone. Here are some pics to enjoy:

We then went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream afterwards.

On Saturday, we went over to my in-laws to see some friends that have been out of town for a long time, and we brought a cake over for Corrin to share.

Then today we went to the Boondock's Fun Center and had Corrin bring a friend. It was a great time had by all. It's hard to believe he is 14. People keep asking if I feel older when they get older...and that's not really how I feel. It's mostly that I can literally remember like yesterday being pregnant with him and all of the feelings that happened. I remember getting the pregnancy test...telling Brian...telling the parentals. Everything is all so clear. The idea that 14 years have past since then is remarkable to me. He is still such a loving, sweet young man (although the loathe teenager shows up more and more lately). I love him so very much! Happy Birthday, Corrin!

The Golden Maple

2009-07-12T09:29:00.008-06:00

Dum dum DUUUUUM. Today I'll be talking about the beautiful yellow maple. You know the one. It's across your street in the neighbors yard, shining brightly. It might even be in YOUR yard and you're scratching your head trying to remember if you had bought a yellow maple. You could have SWORN it was green last year!! Let's take a closer look at this beautiful tree....

Wait. There's something odd about these leaves. They have GREEN veins, but the rest of the leaf is yellow...

What you're seeing is not a yellow maple, but a maple suffering from iron chlorosis. Chlorosis means lack of chlorophyll. Iron chlorosis is a condition caused by lack of iron. No one is absolutely sure what causes iron deficiency in the soils. Chlorosis is typically associated with one of three site conditions--a soil with a pH above 7 (an alkaline soil), a heavy soil containing a high percentage of clay, or a site where there has been extensive soil fill or removal, compaction, or construction injury that has damaged the root system. We live in Colorado, and most of us have the two site conditions in our backyard. With all of the rain, a lot of the iron has been washed away, and chlorosis is happening all around town. Some maples are more susceptible. Amur maples, silver maples and Autumn Blaze maples seem to be the top three. Oak trees also can suffer...especially the Pin Oak. I'm seeing chlorosis happening in Aspens, Ash trees and even my own Mock Orange is suffering a bit.

What to do? There are a lot of products that have pure iron in them. Dr. Iron is a granular type that you can put around your tree's drip line and water it in. Quite a few web sites say to punch holes in the ground and then put the iron in the holes. You can also use foliar spray that has iron for smaller trees and bushes, but good luck spraying the entire tree. It might take a few doses to bring your tree around.

Although those "yellow maples" are pretty to look at, don't hope for one. Chlorosis is a killer to your plants. Treat them as soon as you see it happen.

My hubby suggested this blog...thank him

2009-07-08T09:06:00.006-06:00

We've been getting a lot of phone calls lately about trees and shrubs that are looking sickly. Some seem to be normal transplant shock, and some, I believe, are drowning from too much water. With all of the rain that we have been receiving, this isn't something that we can fix, but we can keep it from happening when we plant. This advice is, of course, for people living in Colorado. I am not sure if this works in all parts of the USA.

When you are planting a plant that eventually doesn't take much water usage, plant UP. Usually 1-2 inches higher than the ground level is sufficient. What you're allowing is water run off to go to the roots, but also allowing the roots to breathe. With all of this water, your plants are oxygen starved!! Especially with the clay soil that is most prevelant in Colorado. If you have a plant that does need more water to survive, plant at ground level. When planting, make sure you are adding water as you plant to see if the plants stay at ground level, or starts sinking to below ground level. If this is the case, build up the plant. Although too much water is a slow death, it does end up the same way: sticks planted in your gardens.

You also might be noticing your grass is looking a bit iffy, too. Again, the constant rain has made your grass just sit there looking beautiful and green, but none of the roots have needed a reason to spread and look for more water. So...with the 90 degree days, your grass is going through some shock, too. As MUCH as you want to water, water, water. DON'T!!! Follow the water guidelines for your city and stick with them. You will eventually have a healthier lawn if you do this. I also remind all to fertilize, fertilize, fertilize (organically, of course!) during the major Holidays. Think Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day.

Our plants can handle this unusual wet spring and summer we have been receiving if you plant correctly, and don't add more water to an already oxygen starved plant. If you are asking yourself, "how do I know if my plants are getting too much water or not enough?" use your hands as a guide. Dig by the plant (not too close to upset the roots!) about 4-6 inches down. If the soil is dry that far down, time to water. If your soil is wet where if you squeeze it and water comes out...take a few days to let it dry out. If the ground is just moist enough where it can clump together, it's perfect...wait another day before watering. Just because the soil is dry on top does NOT mean the soil is dry lower down. Our Colorado winds and high altitude dry out the top layer pretty fast. Let your hands be the judge.

Happy non-watering! :)

Bloomin Tuesday!

2009-07-06T21:22:00.017-06:00

Yay! I haven't been able to post some pictures because I work on Tuesday's...but have planned ahead this week and am posting a tad bit early. Lots of things are blooming around here! Make sure you check out Jean's site to enjoy everyone's flowers that are blooming! Thanks, Jean!!

Here is my first arrangement made from flowers from my garden. It brings me great peace!

Asiatic lillies that were SUPPOSED to be Stargazer. Um, they didn't turn out that way, but they are lovely anyways.

'Cambridge Scarlet' Monarda...my absolute favorite flower. The first bloom was July 4th, and it reminds me so much of fireworks. How fitting!

One of the tall Daylillies given to me by a coworker.

Prairie Mallow

'Crazy Daisy' Shasta Daisy

Echinacea purpurea 'Magnus'

Campanula garganica 'Dickson's Gold'

Giant delphinium...first year

'Furman's Red' Sage and more echinacea

Purple fountain grass. Unfortunately, it's only an annual out here in CO.

This, I believe, is 'Paprika' Yarrow, but I'm not absolutely sure that's correct.

Purple larkspur

A shot of some of my garden! :)

No chemicals in MY garden...

2009-07-05T08:52:00.005-06:00

Even though I work at a nursery, and have a million and one things to choose from to kill those pesty aphids, I try to be patient and wait for Mother Nature to send out the superwoman bugs to kill them naturally. My aspens were FULL of aphids later this spring. I kept trying to wash them off with the hose, but they held on. Last week, I noticed a lot of orange/red from my garden...with a very slight buzzing sound as little wings flew...

Never Hurt a Ladybug!

Ladybugs are in my yard
Just look at them devour
Those pesky aphids on the leaves
Of all my pretty flowers!

Never hurt a ladybug
We need them in the garden
Ladybugs help flowers grow
So we must give them pardon!

~Author Unknown~

Did you know that there are 5,000 types of ladybugs worldwide...and 400 types live in North America alone? So, the chances of you having ladybugs in your garden are GOOD!

Finally have something to say...

2009-07-04T06:09:00.003-06:00

A lot has been going on and I just haven't had much time to write. I will attempt to give an update with only having one cup of coffee in my system. Be patient, this might be rough.

First off, I've had to do a lot of soul searching the past few weeks. I wasn't lying in my last post about not saying anything when you didn't have anything good to say. I realize that it is so easy to judge others when you finally have your stuff together (or at least hope that you do), but it still doesn't make it right to judge. I think as Christians we fall back on the responsiblity of saying and doing the right thing, but we also are supposed to love one another and help each other out when we are able. I know I'm being cryptic, but let's say that after several weeks of turmoil, I'm starting to be at peace, which is good. Still not ready to talk about everything, but I'm okay with that, too.

Secondly, this past week has been filled with great news! On Wednesday, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law found out the sexes of their twins. Two girls!! I cannot tell you how happy I am for them, and for the rest of the family. With four grandsons on the Lollar side, it was about time someone had a girl...and now we have two coming...probably in September. Congratulations Phill and Angela! They will steal your heart in every possible way!

Later in the week, I received a phone call from my mom. She had her results of the latest CA125 come back...it's at 7. This is the only way right now to keep track of the cancer activity, and this number is way lower than we could have ever expected! Mom was so happy, I could hear the joy tumbling out over the phone. Hard to contain yourself when you get the news that the gruelling chemo worked. We have a lot of questions for the cancer center but they aren't open until Monday because of the Holiday weekend. The biggest question of all? Because the numbers went down so drastically, does this mean she is receiving Avastin treatments? What else could cause the numbers to go down??? Whatever the reason, we are ecstatic.

My mother was telling me that on Wednesday, when she went in for her latest Avastin treatment, there was a woman in her 30's that was receiving chemo. It came out that she had Stage 4 breast cancer. My mother told her that she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian, and was now in remission. This woman immediately started to cry...filled with hope that there was a chance to kill the cancer!! My mother gave her a hug and told her to NOT GIVE UP!! There was a reason my mother was sitting in that chair, doing her treatment that day. She was there to give that woman hope at that particular moment. I believe that. How powerful it was for my mom to be able to deliver good news to that woman. To offer her story and to offer that shred of light at the end of the tunnel. I do not know how long my mom will be in remission, but if she made it through this to offer her kind words and encouragement to other women...then she should be around for a looooong time. Those that know my mother, know she isn't afraid to talk. To anyone.

Lastly, I received great news that my best friend is now in the double digits of his tour in Iraq. He will be coming home and starting his life again with the woman he loves. I am so very, very happy that the countdown is coming to a close. How I have missed him!!!

Three things to be grateful for today, as we celebrate our Independence.

Life, hope and friendship.

Happy 4th of July!

My momma always says

2009-06-28T18:38:00.001-06:00

If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all....

A lot has been going on around my neck of the woods. I haven't had a lot of time to blog, but I am alive. Stay tuned!

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T06:57:00.002-06:00

I am so thankful to have three men in my life. My father, father-in-law and my hubby. They truly are heroes in my book.

In my opinion, there are only a select few that can really live up to the father name. I look at my own father and remember growing up looking to him for the consistency in my life. He was always calm, level headed, truthful. His faith in God was the rock in my household. Things didn't always go just perfect in our family, but he held it together with love and respect. My father had a wild son and a rebellious daughter who constantly came home with issues to be dealt with. I look back on those times and know he never stopped loving me. He always came up with advice that I took to heart. When my dad spoke, I listened. Thank you, dad, for being there for me, for giving me slices of your wisdom, and setting the example that I wanted for my own hubby. You are loved so much by me!

I've known my father-in-law for almost 15 years. He is one of the most kind hearted, giving men that I have ever known. He works hard (too hard) for his family, and would give the shirt off his back to a complete stranger. He is the father of my hubby and I thank him for raising such a fine man. I see pieces of him in Brian, and I chuckle, because they are so much alike. I find that I am at a loss for words on how important he is in my life. I just couldn't imagine him not being there.

My own hubby. From the very start, he has embraced fatherhood in a whole new way. I hear stories of women that say their husbands don't help with the kids, and I look at my honey and say, "Thank you, God, for giving him to me." He is the most helpful man who has pride in the fact that he does it all on his own. He loves his children to the point of heartache, and I love him so much for that. There has never been any doubt in my mind, you are the best father of them all. I love you.

Happy Father's Day!

Truth

2009-06-17T12:28:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, even when you finally start telling the truth, it doesn't make things better. The truth is a hard concept. I've always prided myself in telling it, although with tact. However, I've held a lot in the past couple of weeks, and after doing that, I tend to explode. The truth comes out of me like a volcano erupting. It spews, and it doesn't spew gracefully.

Although there is a bit of me that feels good that I'm not acting like everything is peachy, a part of me feels bad for the glimmer of truth that was revealed.

Rain barrels and breakin' the law

2009-06-14T08:24:00.002-06:00

For the past couple of years, I have thought about buying a rain barrel to collect the much needed moisture that I could use around my gardens. I actually went around and looked at several types, even looked into making my own.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my husband about it, and he told me, quite frankly, that it was illegal to do so in the State of Colorado. Uh, WHAT?

Here is what is stated:

A. Colorado Water Law requires that precipitation fall to the ground, run off and into the river of the watershed where it fell. Because rights to water are legally allocated in this state, an individual may not capture and use water to which he/she does not have a right. We must remember also that rain barrels don't help much in a drought because a drought by its very nature supplies little in the way of snow or rain. The reuse of household water (gray water) is regulated by the Colorado State Board of Health Guidelines On Individual Sewage Disposal Systems (PDF). Local health agencies are responsible for implementation and enforcement of the Guidelines.

Link to additional information:

Colorado State University Cooperative Extension Fact Sheet on Colorado's Water Situation (Western water rights & using gray water (PDF).
Prepared by the Colorado Division of Water Resources, April 2003 on Gray Water Systems and Rainwater Harvesting in Colorado (PDF)

Simply stated, the farmers get my water. I don't. Californians get my water. I don't. Asinine.

However, a new law has been stated...effective July 1, 2009:

ANY SYSTEM OR METHOD OF COLLECTING PRECIPITATION FROM UP TO THREE THOUSAND SQUARE FEET OF A ROOF OF A BUILDING THAT IS USED PRIMARILY AS A RESIDENCE AND IS NOT CONNECTED TO A DOMESTIC WATER SYSTEM THAT SERVES MORE THAN THREE1 SINGLE-FAMILY DWELLINGS, BUT ONLY IF THE WATER THUS COLLECTED IS USED FOR ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING:
(A) ORDINARY HOUSEHOLD PURPOSES;
(B) FIRE PROTECTION;
(C) THE WATERING OF POULTRY, DOMESTIC ANIMALS, AND LIVESTOCK ON FARMS AND RANCHES; OR
(D) THE IRRIGATION OF NOT MORE THAN ONE ACRE OF GARDENS AND LAWNS.

As long as I submit an application, the water is mine. My plants say thank you, and so does my planet.

Tornadoes

2009-06-11T06:20:00.002-06:00

The weather today is calling for rain, hail, winds up to 60 miles per hour and a chance of MORE tornadoes.

Now, I know the chances go down tremendously since I don't live in a trailer (seriously, check out the stats!) but all of the funnel cloud activity has made me think of what I would be devestated to lose if my home was hit by a tornado.

The first answer, of course, would be fear for my children.
The second is, all of my pictures of my boys, and family members. I have tons of pictures in albums, along with thousands of pictures in my computer. Completely irreplaceable.

I don't worry too much about my house, nor my car, or any other thing that I own. Just those two things.

What would YOU be most worried about?

Need your opinions!

2009-06-10T12:19:00.006-06:00

I'm looking for a birdbath for my backyard and can't decide between these birdbaths. I can get the them in pretty much any natural looking color and wish I could post the colors I'm wanting, but I don't have the choice. As designs go, which one do YOU like best?

Planting with Plant Select

2009-06-10T07:04:00.016-06:00

I'm reading a wonderful book called "Durable Plants for the Garden" which is made by the Plant Select group here in Colorado. Lovely book. The pictures are outstanding and the illustrations are to die for. I've loved looking through and reading each page carefully. However, something to keep in mind when growing Plant Select. They are a cooperative program through the Denver Botanic gardens and Colorado State University. Just because they say that every plant will work where YOU live, isn't necessarily the case. As a gardener, I love to try new plants to see if they will make it. It hurts when they don't because the first year, the blooms are spectacular, but it also hurts the ol' pocketbook. I'm not knocking Plant Select. Their intentions are superb and God knows we all need help in picking out plants that will work here in Colorado. With the shorter growing time, the conditions becoming more and more arid (although you'd never guess that this year) and the cold winters, it's nice to have a list of plants that are durable and will survive these harsh conditions! I appreciate you, Plant Select, but I'm compiling a list of plants that are iffy that you've come up with.

Salvia darcyi 'Pscarl' Vermillion Bluffs
I fell in absolute adoration with this plant a couple of years ago. I love reds in my garden, and here in Colorado, it's hard to find durable plants that have a red bloom. This particular type of Salvia is RED. Not pink-red, not orange-red, but RED. It also is great for the back of your gardens because it gets HUGE. The first year I grew it, it grew fast and the blooms lasted forever. It didn't come back. I went to my local nursery and bought another one. It did great that year, and didn't come back. So, I bought two more the next spring. One I left alone (I didn't cut it down until I saw growth) the other I did cut down. The one I left alone is growing fine, the other one is dead. Hey, a 1 out of 2 ration isn't too bad! I would suggest mulching it very heavily and leaving it alone until the end of May. The roots are huge, so they are trying to make it, but it's very iffy out here. I just had a customer come in and buy 18 of them from the nursery because it brought the hummingbirds out to Bennett, CO and the customer was overjoyed. His didn't come back in the spring, either.

Bridges Penstemon
I bought three of these three years ago and have lost one each spring. It's another red. Plant Select says this one will last the longest of all of the Penstemons. The first year it didn't bloom (which is pretty normal for Penstemons). The second year, after losing one, the other two bloomed beautifully. The third year, I had lost a total of two. I will say that it takes very dry conditions, and Penstemons are known for not liking wet feet in the winter...and my hubby might have dumped too much of the snow off the driveway on my plants this year. However, it was a VERY dry winter...so I'm not sure that was the cause.

Salvia greggii 'Furman's Red'
Are you seeing a red theme, here? This salvia has actually done very well for me, but that might be because I've coddled it during the winter. It's also on it's third year and comes up beautifully. I mulch it all the way to the top and last fall I cut one down and left the other up to see if that made a difference. It didn't...both came back with no problems. However, my dad has also grown this, and had to replace it this year. He lives NW of me. He didn't mulch it like I told him to, so he might try that this year. From what I've heard from customers, they've been treating it like an annual. Hummingbirds also love this plant, and what people will do for hummingbirds!!

Delosperma 'John Proffitt' Table Mountain ice plant
I haven't planted this before, but we lost over half of them in the nursery containers over the winter. Another plant that doesn't do well with wet feet. Not sure what happened, but I'm not happy they didn't survive. Hopefully it does better in the ground.

Plant Select has tons of other varieties (check out their site) that perform wonderfully, though, too. My suggestion is if you see a plant select variety early in the season, grab it, because you won't be able to find them later on.

A list of my favorites:

Buddleja alterifolia 'Argentea'
This is a monster, growing 12-15 feet H. It blooms off of old wood, which is unlike most butterfly bushes. The flowers weep down, and they are PLENTIFUL. Just a beautiful show in the earlier summer-late spring.

Cytisus purgans Spanish Gold broom
It's hardier than any other broom I've seen and seems to be unaffected by alkaline soils, harsh winter conditions, etc. 4-6 feet by 4-6 feet. Evergreen.

Carol Mackie daphne
OMG. I love this plant. The variegated leaves, the smell in the spring. Great speciman plant that performs very, very well. If you don't have one of these, go out NOW and buy one. 3-4 feet by 3-4 feet.

Princess Kay plum
Fall color is exquisite. Smaller speciman only getting 15-20 feet high by 12-15 feet wide. The white blooms in spring are clustered, so they are very noticeable. I love this tree. The aphids love this tree, so protect it.

One I've never tried but will be on the lookout for is the Phlox bifida L.C. Beck Snowmass phlox. The blooms look like little snowflakes.

All in all, Plant Select keeps getting better at producing plants that will work in Colorado. If you haven't enjoyed this book, it's sold through Amazon.com. You will love it! Thanks, Plant Select, for trying out new species, and keeping Colorado beautiful!

Bloomin' Tuesday!

2009-06-09T06:19:00.021-06:00

Please go to Jean's site to follow other's Blooming Tuesday's pics! What a wonderful way to show everyone what blooms in your neck of the woods!

Yesterday I actually had some time to take pictures of all that was blooming around my gardens. I'm enjoying getting to know the ins and outs of my camera (after a year and half of owning it, mind you!) I sure wish I had my camera when I visited my dad's gardens yesterday. All I had was my cell phone, and it just didn't do them justice!!

Hope you enjoy! Remember that you can click on the picture for a larger image!

A rare treat every year, my Mr. Lincoln rose. Not quite blooming, but always a site to behold either way.

'Rondo' Penstemon. I just added this one to my gardens. I am a huge fan of all things penstemon and keep adding to my collection every year.

Rocky Mountain Penstemon

This little bugger was so hard to catch, but he was filled with pollen, and he just LOVES my Zebrina Mallow!

I personally want to thank Lauren Springer for having me stumble upon this gem. Knautia. I absolutely love it when it's in full bloom.

Reminder to self...and help with plant ID?

2009-06-08T16:26:00.008-06:00

When telling my 6-year-old son to pull weeds, make sure I point out what is a weed and what are seedlings.

Just lost my Alcea rosea 'Nigra'.

On a positive note, I went to go visit my father and finally saw his gardens in early June for the first time. Absolutely breathtaking. He also was kind enough to dig up some plants for me that had volunteered, so I have more digging to do!

Here's a couple of plants he was kind enough to share with me. I know the genus, but not necessarily the exact and was wondering if anyone could help?

I know it's a type of Allium..but what kind?

It's a salvia, but I don't recognize the pink spires after blooming...without the pink stems! Any help?

Here's another pic:

Missed it by THAT much!

2009-06-07T18:44:00.005-06:00

Today has been an interesting day. I woke up, poured my coffee and walked outside. I looked on my walkway and there were several daylilly blooms that had been chopped off it's stalks. I kind of look at the severed pieces in denial. Who would do such a thing? About 1/4 of the stalks were removed by what looks like a stick that was swung. I waited 2 hours for my kids to wake up to ask them if they knew anything about it. They both seemed pretty innocent. My family knows how much joy my gardens bring me, so I can't see them doing it. Mystery unsolved.

All of us went outside and planted my latest purchases. Brian then added on to the misters and drip lines for all of the plants. We then start to clean up when WHAT???the tornado alarm goes off! We're used to hearing it the first Wednesday of the month for testing purposes, but have never heard it during the week. Evidently, there were tornadoes all around us! Plus, hail that was reported to being 1/2 inch to a full inch across! We rush downstairs in the basement coralling the animals, too, and sit for about 35 minutes until the tornado warning was supposively over.

When we come up from the basement, I was expecting damage of sorts from the winds, but nothing happened. We are so very lucky that this terrible storm just missed us! Later we find out that around 5 tornadoes were spotted within the Denver Metro area, with one that was only 15 minutes NW of us, heading due east!

I lived in tornado alley for 10 years and did NOT miss this type of excitement!

Oopsies in the garden...Part Deux

2009-06-06T06:30:00.004-06:00

When planting my vegetable garden, I put plants that had already started, and then planted seeds, telling God a whole bunch of lies if only He'd make them grow. For several weeks...nothing. I figured God knew me too well and didn't believe my baloney.

However, with all of the rain that we received, the seeds took off. When I was watering, I just didn't water long enough for the soil to get wet...so those poor seeds were baking underneath. OH...you have to WATER the seeds to make them grow.

I'm a midwest girl that is used to putting things in the ground and they are full grown the next day. I'm not used to the coddling and sweet talking that needs to be done to these seeds. I just found out that a city nearby used to be the tomato capital of the world (or something like that) so I know it's not impossible to grow things out here. However, it takes a lot of conjoling to get 'er done.

I'll be happy if I get one pepper this season from 6 plants. Beans? I think I have two popping up. The carrots are going wild, but that could be because I just dumped the packet in a row. I know I'll have to eventually thin them out, but I'm just so damn happy something is green in that area. My cucumbers look like they've gone through WW3, which is sad because those were actually started for me.

I am sure that the problem is the soil, and that this is the first year...and I need to be patient. However, because I'm a woman that has a sign in her perennial garden that says, "Grow dammit!" you might see what the problem is.

The tried and true, and the new.

2009-06-05T07:36:00.009-06:00

I've done it again. Couldn't stay away and bought some more flowers and shrubs. The conquest? A hardy hydrangea that isn't quite as picky about our alkaline soils. The purchase? A super hardy hydrangea that's called 'Limelight'.

Hardy to zone 3, this hydrangea can handle the sun. It also can handle heavy pruning which produces an abundance of flowers. What I love about it most, though, is the flowers are mostly white, but in the fall take a pinkish tone. I have yet to see a negative review about this hydrangea. The leaves aren't as big as the typical hydrangea, but the flower heads are around 8" across...so who's looking at the leaves?

I also am trying a native groundcover called Woadwaxen 'Golden Template'

After established, this beauty takes little to no water which is perfect for the front of my gardens that gets hot, western heat that is close to the sidewalk. It blooms in late spring to early summer. Only 8-10 inches tall, it spreads up to 2' wide. The blooms remind me of a golden broom.

I also grabbed a Verbascum 'Jackie in Pink'

It's a dwarf Mullein and goes well with my delphinium, and cottage garden look. It's also hardy to zone 5 which doesn't happen a lot with Mullein. It's a biennial, that only produces more flowers on bare soil, so I have to make sure I move my mulch out of the way. It's just gorgeous!!

The last purchase of note is the Lo and Behold 'Blue Chip' Buddleia, or butterfly bush.

This is a ground cover butterfly bush with beautiful blue/lavender blooms. 20" tall x 20" wide, it's the perfect spot in front of my blue garden that actually gets the full day sun. You don't have to deadhead it, and it's not supposed to seed which is the perfect low maintenance ground cover I need. It starts it's bloom time in early summer and goes until fall. I can't wait until I see it in action! Pictures can't do it justice!

As for the tried and true, I had to replace a gayfeather and I'm adding another iceplant in my rock garden. Delosperma Red Mountain.

It's an orangish color that I haven't seen before. I was going to grab the Lavender, but I sold out the day I was going to take it home. I'm hoping this variety is as hardy as the Delosperma Cooperi.

I also bought my Blue Mist spirea...a very small one. I've just decided to keep it small and hope for the best!! Now, off of the computer to get my son to dig holes!

Things of Importance..Relay for Life

2009-06-03T15:59:00.003-06:00

RELAY FOR LIFE IN BRIGHTON---FRIDAY JULY 10, 2009

Lace up and start walking at 6:00 p.m. at the Brighton Recreation Center to honor cancer survivors and caregivers, pay tribute to those who have lost their battle with cancer and empower everyone to fight this disease!!

If interested, please call Dee Durland/chairperson at 303-289-1453 for more information...or to make a generous donation.

I will be walking this and would love some people to walk with! Call me if you're interested, and I'll set this up.

In honor of Connie Sutton, ovarian cancer survivor.

Things of Importance...Growing for Others

2009-06-03T15:46:00.002-06:00

PLANT A ROW FOR THE HUNGRY

"A people helping-people-program to help feed the hungry in local neighborhoods and communities. Launched in 1995 by the Garden Writers Associaten, Plant A Row encourages gardeners to grow a little extra and donate the produce to local soup kitchens and food pantries serving the homelss and hungry."

What can Brighton Gardeners Do?

-Grow a little extra food this summer to donate to our local food banks. It doesn't have to be a whole row; it can be an extra tomato plant, a whiskey barrel full of lettuce, a pepper in a pot. Avoid using pesticides to ensure your food is safe and healthy.
-Take your fresh produce to the food banks at the times listed below, so they can distribute the food right away.
-Any and all fresh and healthy produce is appreciated, including herbs. As a general guideline; if you wouldn't offer it to your family, you proably shouldn't take it to the foodbank.
-Quantity is not important. If you only have three extra tomatoes this week and you're heading into town, the food bank will be happy to have them.

Local foodbank dropoff times:

Day
Sunday None are open
Monday None are open
Tuesday and Thursday 9-11 a.m. preferred (no later than 1:00 p.m) Brighton Food Pantry 129 S. 6th Avenue
Wednesday and Saturday 10:30-12:30 p.m. (no later than 1:00 p.m.) His Hands Ministries 99 N. 1st Avenue
2nd and 4th Wednesday 1:30-2:30 p.m. Calvary Chapel 161 E. Bridge Street
Friday None are open

The food bank hours of operatioin are not identical to the hours for dropping off fresh produce. they want to enusre the produce can be distributed the day it is received.

We are blessed with the opportunity to grow our own food. Let us share with those that are not as fortunate!!

It worked!

2009-06-03T05:52:00.006-06:00

I currently have an almost blooming, 12'H, 6'W Mock Orange that looks like Cousin It right now because all of the rain that we have received. However, the key to the prior sentence is "almost blooming". It's taken three years to get it right, but the bush is COVERED in buds. I know that my Mock Orange is a monster compared to most (I'm guessing it's because it's really old, and the newer varieties are made to be smaller) but we'll take what we can get. From what I've read, the smell is very strong and citrus and I cannot wait until the buds pop!

For shrubs that grow new canes every year, you have to really cut down the shrub to replenish the growth. When we moved into our house, the shrub hadn't been cut down in who knows how long. We always cut it down in the very early spring, because that's when the huge leaves were off and it made for easier cleanup. However, since we had cut down at this time, we always cut off the emerging blooms.

The mock orange is not the only shrub that this happens. A lot of lilacs bloom on old wood. Most types of spring flowering shrubs you want to wait until right after it blooms before trimming. There are always exceptions to every rule (ie. butterfly bush), but this is something to remember.

If only I could share smell over the internet! :) I'm guessing one more week or less and the buds will have opened.

My new baby...

2009-06-02T06:32:00.004-06:00

Oopsies in the garden...Part One

2009-06-01T20:48:00.008-06:00

I was reading a delightful blog today by Stacy called Dirty Little Secrets and it got me thinking about things that happen in the garden we hope no one else notices, but yet want to share our misery with other fellow gardeners at our mistakes. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but sometimes, you just want to know you're not alone in your pain.

As she was talking of weeds, I was thinking of all of the mulch laid down and grateful that it wasn't weeds I was dealing with. However, with the mulch, and the rain...I have holes in a lot of my foliage...

In my Alcea...

My newly planted rose mallow

Also in my echinacea, rudbeckia, asters, and any seedlings that I put out this year. I spent 45 minutes squishing the damn things, and then come back and see another one eating it's carcass. Yum.

I then wanted to share what happens when you grow free plants without asking specifics about height. I wanted a pathway that had daylillies growing up on either side. I started out on one side one year, and then added the other side last year. I now have two different blooming times, two different heights and either side of my sidewalk. Oops.

Notice how these are so high and almost in bloom? Not sure how I'll fix this except to just dig up some from either side and transplant to mix. The colors are almost exactly the same...I guess I should be happy for longer blooming time?

My last oopsy to share would be the lovely urine spots left from my dog this winter in our lawn. I thought...for some unknown reason that if the grass was dormant, the urine couldn't hurt the lawn. I was wrong. The grass is slowly filling in, but a MAJOR oops...and I take full responsiblity for this.

Plant row is GONE, baby!

2009-06-01T06:56:00.004-06:00

For several weeks, I've had a row of plants lined up, sitting so patiently to be planted. Every day I'd give them a drink, promising them that SOON I'd get them into the ground so they could spread and prosper. Every night I would apologize to them because I wasn't able to get to the planting.

Yesterday, I finally planted all of them but two. The lightening and thunder outside was a deterrent, so we quickly packed up everything and it called it a day. We also went to Home Depot to find a material to cover my vegetable gardens for those pesky hail storms that are so prevalant this month. Brian had constructed three hoops to go over the gardens made out of PVC pipe that he slipped into some cut off pvc pipe he attached to the raised bed. After doing some research, it looks like screen door material is the easiest to work with, and will still allow sun to come through when I can't roll the screen back. Since the gardens are on my east side, I really have to make sure the sun can get to the plants the full 7 hours of the day for optimum growth. Because of my planting, we were not able to finish this project yesterday, and I'm hoping the weather holds out!! First year veggie garden, please be nice with comments! ;)

I planted a newly released rose 'Julia Child' that is yellow with a sweet scent. I also planted coreopsis 'Moonbeam', a blue lupine, two different hibiscus plants ('Galaxy' and 'Fireball'), two types of Lobelia (one for the shade and one for a sunny spot), a perennial four o'clock, two more 'Rocky Mountain' penstemon, some California poppies and a new annual that seeds, the soon to be famous 'Lauren Springer Grape' poppy. I also planted two everbearing strawberry plants 'Ft. Laramie'. I'm not sure if I'll like the taste, but I know I'll love the color. Two more ornamental strawberries were planted by my 'Wine and Roses' Weigela that hasn't done much this year. I can't STAND holes in my gardens. After I plant my delphinium, all will be planted. I still would like to purchase a Blue Mist spirea, but as Brian has pointed out, we've run out of room. We'll see about that.

My idea of planting all shrubs in the back has quickly left the building. Brian and I aren't all that surprised. I just love color, and designing the backyard so I get optimal color all seasons. One plant that I have been going back and forth on is the Beautyberry so I get more winter interest. After doing a lot of research, it sounds like this shrub is iffy making it out here, but it is so gorgeous, I might order it online.

I know that Davey will be ordering more, which excites me and makes me filled with dread because I have to find more spots to plant. I do have room for more ground cover to hide all of my dying bulb foliage and am so happy with 'Snow in Summer' that I think I'll be adding more of that in my rock gardens and the other side of my front garden.

I am NOT happy with my hardy glads that I ordered from Breck's. They are small...PETITE even, and barely visible from my back patio. Bright pink, which you can see better because of my fence backdrop, but nothing to jump up and down with joy about.

I have to resist the temptation to pull out my burning bushes that I transferred last fall. They look pathetic and are such an eye sore. I promised myself that I'll give them one more year to rebound, and if they don't look better...they are GONE.

All in all, a very happy planting day! The daily changes in my gardens are wonderful, and as always I'm happy to walk them.

Mom update

2009-06-01T06:50:00.002-06:00

I was told by several people that I haven't had any updates about mom written here. Well, it's because there's not a lot to update you with. I talked to her last night and she reports, "I still have leg pain, I still have neuropathy in my hands, and I'm still bald".

The leg pain gets bad in the evenings, and she's trying so hard not to use strong, prescribed medicine to get through it. Since she had fibromyalgia before her chemo, she isn't sure if it's that, or the taxol in her system. I'm guessing taxol, but that's only a guess.

As for her hair, I know it takes awhile for it to come back, but I'm really praying that it takes root soon...she's desperate for her hair to be back!

Her next Avastin treatment is the 10th, and she goes in for a womanly check-up today. She can't remember why she goes in for that since there's "nothing there anymore" but we'll find out today.

Her days are pretty good, but she still tries to take it easy since she gets tired so easily. All in all, things are the same.

To fertilize or not to fertilize

2009-05-29T07:18:00.004-06:00

I garden green. Or...try my very best to. Reuse a lot of pots, plant shrubs and perennials that after the first year just don't need lots of water, etc.

With all of that in mind, why would I suggest fertilizing? First off, try to grasp a fertilizer that is organic rather than bad for the Earth, birds and bees. Second, think of your trees. Now imagine them as 'happy little trees' that perform better than your neighbors. We spend so much time making compost for everything else in our gardens, but sometimes forget our trees. When you fertilize, it makes them healthier, makes them warden off disease and little critters and because of this, makes you smile because they are providing you with lots of shade during the hot, summer months.

There ARE organic fertilizers out there. Shop around at your local nurseries, they should be going organic, too.

We also tried corn glutten this year for our grass. Brian had heard about it. So far, as a weed killer and fertilizer, we've been very happy with it.

My favorite fertilizer that I use is actually an organic foliar spray called Bioform. It's got seaweed, fish emulsion, molasses and other natural ingredients to really make the tree healthy. I also use it on my roses, and they thank me every day! You can also pour it around your trees, just make sure you add water...it's concentrated!

Happy guilt free fertilizing!

Camera cleaning day!

2009-05-27T09:56:00.013-06:00

My Monarda patch that has gone haywire this year!

FINALLY, 'Black Lace' Elder is actually doing something!!

Brian calls this the hairy testicle flower.

No name iris brought from Picadilly's gardens.

'Rare Treat' iris, not quite unfurled.

Blaming it on the cats

2009-05-27T07:01:00.003-06:00

I went downstairs last night to do laundry and kept smelling a strong odor of pee. Our basement is not finished yet, but we have carpet pieces laying down everywhere, so I checked them all to see if the cats were using them as...uh...comfortable places to relieve themselves. I couldn't smell any pee on any of them. I then take the trash can that is buy the washer outside to the trash and dump it, and the smell (along with liquid!!) comes out in full force. Our smallest darling had decided to use the trash can as a toilet.

With several minutes of extreme protest, he finally admitted to peeing in the trashcan. He first decided to blame it on the cats (which would have been a feat that I would have loved to behold) and then realized that I wasn't going to be mad, I just wanted him to fess up and then not do it again.

Pee smell is gone, kid confessed, I won't be pissed (ha ha) at the cats. Problem solved.

Diary of a Nursery Worker

2009-05-26T18:59:00.003-06:00

Had a woman come in saying she planted three shrubs...all of the same, all get the same water and one of them died. She wanted us to replace the shrub at no cost to her. It was, in her words, "a faulty plant". I explained to her that it IS a plant, and that plants can sometimes die. That I can buy the same three plants and one of them dies. It's part of gardening. She said it's, "our faulty plants and she wants another one. I mean, it didn't even root!" I explained to her that it takes a year for plants to become established, and not enough time had passed.

JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

I understand it's money, and sometimes...money wasted. How do you guys deal with something that dies? Do you take responsibility and just know it's a part of gardening, or do you personally attack the nursery you got it from saying it's a faulty plant? Am I wrong to want to backhand this person???

I had a customer that comes in, oh, about once a week with absolutely no idea what she has in mind to buy. We generally spend at least two hours with this woman telling her what will work, won't work, and then plan her gardens for her.

I would like to tell this woman that for a fee, we could come out and design her yard, but I don't think that will go over well since she's already using a designer.

Um. Yeah.

Sunshine...please? and the fun job of car buying.

2009-05-26T06:14:00.002-06:00

After 5 days straight of rain (which I won't complain about...really) I'm ready for the sun to work it's magic right along with the nice nitrogen that the rain brought. I won't have to water for a week. I worked half a day yesterday and then literally booked it out the door at noon because Brian and I went car shopping with the boys.

I am not great at negotiating. We weren't really ready to BUY a car yesterday, but wanting to test drive the Mazda CX9. There's a car down in Centennial that seemed to have everything we wanted (gadgets are FUN!) so we all piled in the truck and headed down. The boys loved the car and were, uh, very loud about it. Cardinal rule #1 killed: Never let the dealer know you LIKE the car. Brian had sent an email to the credit union to figure out what kind of loan we're approved for. Cardinal rule #2 killed: Have cash in hand so they can't bug you about financing!

We were so wrecked from trying to keep the boys on good behavior that I didn't get to use my stone face while talking to the dealer. I was pretty much obvious that I wanted the car, but wasn't ready to buy.

In the meantime...we found another CX9 in Longmont that is a year newer and has a lot fewer miles. Now we get to make another trip with the boys and check that one out. I'm working Tuesday, Thursday AND Friday of this week, so I'm not sure when we'll be able to go out, but at least we're really aware of the ins and outs of this car (thank you intrawebs!) and are prepared to give the dealer everything we've got.

In the meantime, last night I cleaned my van for everything it's worth and it's looks pretty good. I'll enjoy it being clean for, oh, a day...until the boys step back into it!

2009-05-24T06:49:00.003-06:00

The past couple of days have brought lots of rain. With the rain comes the slugs. They are everywhere. I can't even have the satisfaction of throwing them on the street and letting their slimy little bodies fry because it's still overcast out. So...I've been squishing them one by one all morning. Only a fellow gardener would understand this process, and the little thrill of the killing. I'm sadistic today. My Mock Orange looks like a weeping tree at the moment with the heavy strain of rain drops. I do hope it comes back because the only reason we have kept it is for the shade on our west facing porch. It needs to be it's full 12 foot height to be any good for us!

Yesterday Brian came by to get two loads of mulch to finish the backyard. I am hoping two loads will be enough to cover the mud by my vegetable garden. With all of the weeds that have sprung, I also need to add a couple of inches around the rest of the gardens. I do not believe in weed barrier, but heavy mulch to take care of the weed seedlings. I'm thinking I need another two loads. :)

I also have 15 plants to plant today, and hope I can get to them before the BBQ at 1 pm!

I'll be working a half day tomorrow and then going car shopping with my hubby. We have decided to forego our deck this year for a new car. We have narrowed the search down to a Ford Edge, a Mazda CX9 and a Toyota Venza. I cannot fathom spending so much for a Venza, but do absolutely love the ride!!

Kindergarten graduation

2009-05-22T10:18:00.011-06:00

What a great graduation ceremony. They had all four classes sing three songs, and then each pupil was handed their diploma. They then had a slideshow that included each child. I was very impressed, but this isn't new at this school. They seem to do everything right! Riordan was so happy that he is now a first grader!!!

No warranty? Are you crazy?

2009-05-20T13:08:00.003-06:00

I went to another nursery the other day and was astounded that there was not a warranty on their merchandise. I mean, the warranty stated that they had good merchandise, but once it left the grounds, you were on your own.

HOW CAN YOU BUY A HUGE PRODUCT LIKE A TREE WITH NO WARRANTY?!?!

We're talking a lot of money here, especially during these times. I just couldn't imagine getting a tree, shrub, vine, etc. without having a warranty with it.

In Colorado, we can have very, very dry winters. When selling our merchandise (especially trees) we talk about winter watering. With the dry winds and drier winters, there's a good chance you could lose your tree within the first year. We WANT your trees to survive. We want you to be happy. Who wants to plant two huge trees within two years? We understand that you just want to sit back and watch the tree grow.

Don't put up with places that don't give you a warranty. There are lots of other places that DO, and will honor it.